I'm writing this with a heavy heart. I have been thinking about Wednesday's meeting a lot. Also, my supervisor pulled me up for the way I reacted at the time.I think - no, I know - I didn't handle the situation well. I didn't listen as well as I should have. I cut across people and didn't make it clear I had listened to their opinion. I know other people cut across me first and that is why I reacted badly. I should have let it go or found a better way to deal with it.
I know my supervisor feels one thing I am not showing him is my ability to take part in a group discussion. I also know I can take part in a group discussion very well, but he is writing my report and needs to see I can do it.
I feel I don't know what I need to do to make it better and to show my supervisor I can listen well in groups and get my opinion over without alienating the entire group. At the moment, I feel I'm on a loch in the mist. I can roughly see where land is, but I can't see the way round the obstacles on the route to safety.
I pray for guidance and strength to understand myself. I also pray for help in dealing with a group discussion in a mature, caring and respectful manner.
As I'm sure you know, leading a group discussion of one of the assessment conference tasks and it can be quite tricky. You just never know how people are going to react to your topic and whether you'll get a good discussion out of it (make sure you've plenty of open questions to lob into the pot to kickstart things if necessary).
ReplyDeleteBut I think you've spotted the key thing - listening and showing that that's what you're doing.
I remember doing an 'assertiveness training' course several years back and the crucial skill was not, as you might expect, getting your own point across but rather listening to what others had to say. Working out where it would be necessary to compromise and where their argument was weak, allowing you to 'suggest' better approaches, lay at the heart of 'getting your own way'.
btw - the worst bit of the assessment tasks is writing up the analysis of your own performance. It's that balancing act of emphasising the positives whilst acknowledging the deficiencies. Once again, self-awareness is the key thing that they are looking for.
The assessment process is pretty rough. It forces you to look hard at yourself and sometimes you just don't want to go there. What you will learn to do though is come to terms with who you are, recognise what you're good at and where you need to rely on the skills of others. Do bear in mind though that for ministry of word and sacrament, they are looking for those who can lead and organise. That doesn't necessarily mean take charge of and run everything, but be able to guide and steer. But at this stage, they're also looking for the seeds of these skills, not the finished article.
Blessings.
John