It's a small world

Spot and I had an overnighter last night near Loch Garten. Just as we checked into our accommodation, who arrived but the psychologist from my assessment conference and his wife! He did congratulate me on my success, so I couldn't have left that bad an impression.

Selection conference - the letter

Yesterday, I was nervous and slightly distracted all day, wondering if the post would arrive and, more importantly, if the letter from ministries council had arrived.

It was there, behind the door, when Spot and I got home. It was a really small envelope. Not good, not good at all. Results like this should come in large(ish) envelopes.

I had decided during the day I would open the letter immediately - why let the worry go on for longer than necessary. I'd not been accepted, but needed to open the letter to read the report from the conference. To see were I'd gone wrong and begin reflection of where I was go for God next.

Quickly, it was opened. I began reading. It was good news! The assessors has decided to accept me as a candidate in training for full-time ministry. I was stunned, shocked, amazed. I'd done it!

Spot was really chuffed too, as are all the friends and family I have told since then.

God has guided me here and will guide me where I go next. But still. Minister? Me? Wow.

More thoughts from the weekend

Yes, I really enjoyed the conference. Since then, I have been going over some of what I said and did. I'm reassured knowing the assessors are looking for potential, not the finished article. I also know there was a few questions I could have answered differently/better/more fully. It's done now and it's out of my hands, so I'll not dwell on it.

The topic discussion I led went well. I very much went into leading the discussion. Trying to ask open questions and I did make sure all could have their say. I did give my opinion, but only because another of the applicants asked. I even managed to sum up our points (which were varied and interesting) with just about 1 minute to go. So, I did keep it on time.

During the discussion, I did come out with the cheesiest line I think I've ever come out with. There was nothing wrong with the sentiment, but smell the fromage!!! "It's not about the steeple, it's about the people". Excuse me while I go and throw up in that bucket other there, please!!!

I wish I hadn't told Spot and a couple of friends we were visiting yesterday. Did I get ribbed, or did I get ribbed? I don't think I'll live that one down. Oh well...

I should hear if I've been successful by the end of the week. At least it's quick. I will post the outcome when I know. Thanks again for your prayers and good thoughts.

Wow - that was fun!

This is a quick up-date from selection/assessment conference. It was really great. 8 people, all in the same boat. All working through our call from God. All nervous and excited and overwhelmed and humble.

There was laughter, mainly at the drop and egg from head height exercise (our team was successful; the others broke 3 eggs!). For me, there was challenging questions and affirming encounters.

I will be disappointed if I am unsuccessful, but I wouldn't have missed the experience for the world. I pray the assessors have made the right decisions for God, for the church, for the applicants. And I pray for all the other applicants - they will be find their call, whether now or in the future. God is with us all.

He kept his promises to me this weekend, as he always has and always will.

What will be will be.

I've just spent the last hour or so re-reading much of my journal (aka this blog). Looking over it, I see how much I've grown with God and in his calling since the beginning of this process.

Now, I'm a wee bit nervous about the next couple of days, but not as bad as I could be. I know God is with me and will prepare the way for me. I just need to trust him and be myself. What is meant to be is meant to be.

Selection conference - one week to go

One week today I will be in day two of my selection conference. I'm not saying I'm totally relaxed about it, but I'm not as worked up about it as I feel I should be. I will look at that in a positive light as I firmly feel God is with me and will go ahead to prepare the way for me.

Over the rest of the week I need to re-read my journal, make notes for the discussion topic, fill in the medical form (must remember, must remember) and pray - a lot.

Your prayers and thoughts for next weekend will be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Selection conference - discission topic

As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I finally sent my discussion topic off to ministries council. It turns out no-one else has replied to 121 yet! And with only 3 weeks to go. I thought I was cutting it fine! It's a relief, though; it means I don't have to come up with another topic. Just as well really, I couldn't think of anything else!

Oh, the topic is "Is the traditional church building out of date?"? I figured this is not too controversial (fatal last word, I know), it's a topic everyone can relate too and it's open to a broad range of views. So, I hope it'll make a good topic.

My initial thoughts are:

Yes because.

They cost a fortune to run and the skills to maintain them are becoming unavailable.
Good stewardship means that we have an obligation to spend our time, talents and money to benefit those less well off than us. More money spent on buildings means less for the poor.
They are often located in inaccessible places, and not at the centre of the community, where the layout can make it inaccessible for disabled people.
Modern buildings can be constructed to include the screens, projectors and audio systems used in modern worship.


No because.

They look like churches – people seeking God can go to the building that is identifiable as a church.
A traditional church building has a presence that a modern building often does not have.
Through grant assistance, we should be using our buildings to revitalise craft industries and to bring employment and training to the unemployed
“I was baptised in that building, married in that building, and I’ll be buried there.” (Fine, but it would be nice if you bothered your bottom visiting in the intervening period - might not bring that one up, though!)

These are rough thoughts and need expanding. And, before Mr Gerbil comments, I have "borrowed" the typing from him.

I'm still swithering which side to be on. Generally, I'm a bit more in favour of keeping traditional buildings, so long as they are used and serve the community. After all, the parish kirk is supposed to serve its parish.

So, what do others think? I'd love to gather thoughts, ideas etc.

Getting closer...

3 weeks tomorrow I'll be heading to selection conference. Should I be worried? At this stage, no. If I worry for 3 weeks, I'll never get through it. Besides, if God is with me, and I sincerely and faithfully believe He is, why should I worry?

I have sent off the various documents ministries council wanted. The 2 photos are particularly amusing - I had to renew my photo driving licence, so they are 2 of the 4 photos from that. I look dour as anything and have no specs on. The DVLA's computer doesn't like specs in the photos. But, hey, those type of photos are never attractive!

I've still not really come up with a topic for my discussion group. I probably should at least get a title of to ministries council...I might just do that tonight, otherwise I'll be getting chased up about it, or will have less time to think of another topic.

Selection conference - the paper work

Given time is pressing on towards selection conference, I was starting to wonder when the additional information would come. This arrived yesterday.

From comments some of you have left on my blog (thank you), combined with the timetable I received when my place was confirmed, I wasn't surprised by much of the contents. The detail of the medical report was pretty surprising, though I'm not sure why. Many employers have this. Strangely, just over a year ago all the the questions asking about health issues and hospital treatment, I would have answered to the negative. Now I have to explain about my broken clavicle - joy! But that's just by the by.

I suppose I'm most concerned about which topic to choose for the group discussion I will lead. I have an idea of an item which I think is an important matter the Kirk should at least talk about, but I wonder what other peoples thoughts are. It's not I want the answers or to nick others ideas - far from it - but I want to look outwith my own "rant issues" and maybe start a dicussion on something really important. If not really important, at least a discussion I can present well and where there will be a scope for debate/discussion.

I must admit, and I'll have to be aware of it during this time, I do have a habit of playing devil's advocate a lot. It might not be my opinion, but I will put it forward to get people to think about it and challenge me. Unfortunately, in the wrong context, that can be taken the wrong way. I suppose it's positive I can be like that. As some of you have commented on here, the selectors are looking for me, not someone else.

Overall, though, I'm still pretty relaxed about it. I doubt I'll still be so relaxed on the day, but I'm farily certain neither will the other 9 people getting their head read!

Looking ahead

I went to visit my ministers last night (two ministers in a joint ministry team). They wanted to see how I was and what I wanted/needed to do before selection conference. I took along my formal report from my local review too. Fortunately, it had just arrived in the post that day.

I let both of them read my report. One of them had recently been trained as a local assessor, so is aware of what the review is looking for. She in particular thought it was "an excellent report". I thought I came across quite well too. Plenty of positives and even the down points aren't really negatives in the lowest common denominator type way.

Having gone from being reasonably heavily involved in leading worship, along with other ministerial-type duties, at my placement, it would have been quite strange going back to only sitting in the pew every Sunday. Also, there's a bit of my thinks perhaps that's something I may be asked at selection conference - "what have you been doing since the end of your co-ordinated field assessment". With that in mind, I'm being involved leading worship at my home church (and its linkage) between now and then.

As for pastoral visits and such-like things. As I work full-time, day time things can be an issue, but I've let my ministers know if something comes along to let me know. I can easily take a ½ day (or a whole one, if necessary!). Both I and my ministers know this maybe isn't necessary - during ministry training I'll get plenty experience - but I'd still like to keep my hand in.

Conflict was briefly mentioned in my report and one of my ministers actually gave an example of a time where I had dealt with conflict very well. I must remember this and wish I'd remembered it before.

So, it was a really positive and encouraging meeting. I also was enjoying myself so much I didn't get home until past my bedtime - dirt stopout!!!

Oh, my dates for selection conference are 30th April-1st May. I'll maybe start panicking a couple of days before!!!

Local Review

Yesterday's local review went well. Just as Wednesday, I wasn't that nervous and very much felt God was upholding and supporting me during it.

Most of the questions were different, yet the same (if that makes sense) from last time. I answered as honestly and fully as I could. There was one point where I was being a little vague, I suppose. I didn’t explain the background to an example well. My local assessor added questions during that part of the interview so the panel really knew what I was meaning. I really appreciated that as she obviously wanted me to do well.

The only question which slightly threw me, as I'd never thought of it before, was how do I deal with apathy? Again, especially being put on-the-spot, I gave my answer. I wasn't sure if it was okay, but the national assessor told me "there's no right answer to this - if there was I'd be writing yours down and using it". With that I very much got the impression the question was more intended to see if I'd be thrown.

At the end of the review I was told the panel would make their decision after I'd left and I would get the outcome and report, hopefully, within 7 days. I was also told there might be a delay as the national assessor has no e-mail access due to no manse heating. That was understandable, given the weather. Also, I wasn't too bothered having to wait - I'd worked hard to get to this stage and there was nothing I could do to alter the outcome. Another couple of days wait wouldn't make any difference.

An hour after my review the bus to the panto was leaving my placement church, so I just made a cup of tea and read a book while I was waiting. I'd just popped out to my car to get something from it and my local assessor was looking for me. The ministries support officer needed to see me. Right, I thought, she just wants to check my contact details…

No - given the possible delay getting the panel's decision out to me, she told me there and then its decision. They have decided I am suitable to attend a selection conference! I was so happy I could have kissed my local assessor.

So, God is with me - it is His call, not mine or others. Well, at least the local review panel think so. I'll get my selection conference date with my full review report. It will be interesting to see what has been said.

Now, I wonder what I do with myself in the meantime?