Drive out hate with love

[Spoiler alert: contains references to last night's Doctor Who]

In the episode, Amy Pond lost her wrist band which protected her from the Daleks in the asylum. Over time, the nanoparticles would remove all love in her for hate. Substitute love for hate. In Skaro, the Daleks tell The Doctor it is hate which feeds them (in a round about way). Hate drives out love.

There's just so many parallels with life, with society, with the church and why Jesus came. Hate of 'the other' what ever 'the other' may have been (the woman with bleeding, the Samaritan, the daemon possessed man across the lake) had driven people away from God; had removed people from God's community of his chosen people; was preventing the chosen people being the light in the darkness for the whole world. All because hate had replaced love.

So God sent love to the world, in Jesus. Love was shown to those that had been denied love; those who had treated with contempt and hate, he brought love. Because love is a light which drives out hate.

I wonder if the church manages this? It's not prefect, but I pray wherever I serve love is the greatest.

And Amy showed Rory, at last, that she did love him as much as he loves her. And hate was driven out.

Love hurts

A member of my home church phone Spot and I last night. It was good to hear from them, even though it was sort of business related, at least initially.

Unfortunately, her husband is very ill. While talking about how he was, she was clearly in tears and I was struggling to keep my emotions in check as I didn't want to upset her anymore and I know she's trying to keep it together for him. In many ways, I felt this was like a pastoral conversation, as much as a friendly one. It gave a small hint (and I can't emphasise this enough) of some of the things I will carry with me in ministry. As I get to know a congregation more, I will share their laughter and tears. Their pain, sorrow and joy. I will be told things no one outwith the family has been told and be let into their lives in ways I can only imagine.

On a selfish and personal note, the ill person was very influential in my Christian growth. Of many people I know from various parts of my life, he is someone I would really like to be at my ordination. Be the looks of things that won't happen and that hurts. Really hurts and, I think, they would like to be there. Whatever happens, I really believe they will be there in spirit as some of what they taught will be there in me.

Osama Bin Laden

I was going to say something about the death of Osama Bin Laden. Something about loving your enemies and everyone (yes, everyone) having the right to a fair trial. As he died, legally, he was innocent.

But, I won't say any of these things. Spot has pretty much got there first.

Out of touch?

Sometimes, I wonder if the Church of Scotland is irrelevant to today's society. I'm not talking about faith and body of Christ the Kirk should be, but out of touch with the way of Christ. Where administrative burdens from government bodies (such as the Scottish Charity regulator) and 121 get in the way. And, potentially, unrestricted calls prevent growth of church communities due to lack of leadership change (I'll get back to this).

I have a couple of friends who would say this. They have had some bad experiences lately, which if they were the experiences I had had, I too would be anti-Church of Scotland.They encountered congregations and ministers who, frankly, didn't care. Who were more about intellectual faith than heart-felt faith. Who were more about being a middle-class social club than a called by God loving body of Christ's followers.

I wonder how many congregations are like this? Probably not that many. But anyones encounter with unloving churches, especially if searching for faith, will not help anyone - them, the congregation, the Kirk. Most importantly, it may stop that person ever having a personal relationship with God. That makes me very sad.

So, I wonder, does the general "unrestricted call" type tenure hinder growth in churches? I am playing a bit of devil's advocate here, but is it good for a congregation to be lead by the same minister for 30 years? It brings continuity, but is that at the detriment of growth? Possibly not. My gut instinct is it is a combination of the minister and congregation which makes the difference.

At the church I grew up in the minister was there for over 30 years. He was very well loved, not just by the congregation, but all in the parish and many in the presbytery. Why? Because he obviously had a very close relationship with God, trusted Christ and loved people deeply. I am where I am due to the grounding I had in that church, which was only possibly due to that minister's leadership.

I also know the Kirk is one of the largest providers on social care in Scotland through Crossreach. That is showing Christ's love in a very real way. But there are much, much more outreach the Kirk does which only those in the local community knows about. The Kirk doesn't brag about it. That would be very un-Scottish, un-Presbyterian. Perhaps that's why those outside those communities don't see what's going on.

For me, the Kirk - the national Church of Scotland - is my church. I know it's not perfect, but if I ever found the perfect church I'd leave as I would spoil it. I know the kirk has become overgrown and needs trimmed down. That is going on. But, like all good gardeners, God leaves and feeds the fruitful branches. He trims the bush in such a way that new shoots of His love will spring from the plant. The plant which will never be consumed.

Thanks for the love

The funeral of the crystal bowl lady was today. It was a moving and uplifting service, made better knowing her strong, deep faith and her wishes. There was so much love in the congregation, but she had so much love for others.

After the service I got chatting to one of her nieces. As we talked, her niece talked of how at least her Aunt had been able to deal with most of her possessions - giving them personally and specifically to those important to her. I mentioned her Aunt gave a bowl to. "Oh, that was you. When do you start training to be a minister?". I was so touched that her Aunt thought highly enough of me to mention me being selected as a trainee minister to her niece. And exceptionally humbled.

I know her Aunt was very proud of me. Of one of her Sunday School pupils still being interested in her and going to be a minister. I only hope I can be half the person her Aunt was. That would be a lasting tribute to such a wonderful woman.

Do you believe in angels?

There's the angel who asked if I'd visited the lady who gave me her crystal bowl

So yesterday, I finally got round to it. I know, it's been months and I don't really have an excuse. Just not making the effort, quite frankly.

The crystal bowl lady is very ill and scared by her illness. It's understandable given it's nature.

I arrived and was shown through to her. She was taken aback to see me - not because she didn't know me, but she wasn't expecting me!

I stayed and chatted for 2 and a half hours. It didn't feel that long at all. During that time, 3 or 4 members of staff commented how she looked much better, as did her friend who'd arrived as I was leaving.

So, does that also make me an angel? For spending time with someone I care for, brightening her day and making her feel better?

I believe in angels, as messengers from God. Sent in various disguises. Sent when we need comfort or guidance or affirmation. Yesterday, through different people, I experienced all of those angels.

And God was there with us.

Find a penny, pick it up

The other night when Spot and I were out for a walk, I picked up a discarded 2p. It was in the middle of a pile of gravel thrown to the side of the road by the wheels of the cars travelling along the street.

The coin was badly tarnished and abraded around the edge – it had obviously been on the road for some time.

Unnoticed. Its lustre gone. Its value unappreciated.

Thrown away because it lacked value – “what can you buy with 2p”?

I say thrown away as I know there are people who throw 2p, 1p and even 5ps away, for that reason. What can you buy with that? They have no value; no worth.

Spot is often impressed at my ability to spot a discarded coin, especially one in the condition of this one. It’s a talent I’ve had for years. I picked it up from my uncle. Though back then, small denomination coins were valued more highly and usually had fallen from someone’s pocket or purse; not thrown away and discarded.

It saddens me to see people throw away money, even such small denomination coins, due to their perceived lack of worth. Stick them in a jar and see just how quickly the money adds up. As Andrew Carnegie is supposed to have said "look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves".  The coins I find in my travels and get in my change I place in an old money box and at the end of the year it often as not adds up to £15. Not bad for mainly 1p and 2p coins. Seemingly worthless coins.

And picking up that coin the other night got me thinking. What about people? Who does society "throw away", seeing them as worthless; of no value? I'm not going to list off examples here, but they are all around us. In the margins, among the dirt, unloved, unnoticed and unvalued.

The very people I, as a Christian, should be noticing. Seeing their worth where others see none. Speaking up for them, helping them, loving them.

Giving them worth and value and self-esteem where others don't.

Because only then can I really call myself a Christian, a follower of Christ, as that is what he calls me to do. To love others as I love myself.

7th February 2010 sermon critique.

As I mentioned here, I was leading worship with my minister at both my home church and the linkage church. It could be argued I drew the short straw, as I wrote and preached the sermon.

The sermon was based on Isaiah 6:1-8 and Luke 5:1-11 and the general theme for the service was call. God calling Isaiah and the first disciples, but also all followers of Christ being called to follow and show the Good News to the world.

As the first disciples Jesus called were fishermen, I picked up on nets as a bit of a theme in my sermon. How our nets of self-doubt and responsibility can hold us back from following God's calling, but also how our interconnected lives can spread God's love like a net radiating out from us.

I feel it was a good sermon. My points were clear and I brought in stories the congregation could relate to. It also came together well, and that isn't just me saying that, I had a couple of good bits of feedback which told me that.

But, I was really nervous. More nervous than I have been when I've preached at my last placement. I think that's a combination of familiarity - will they just see "wee Mrs Gerbil"? - and my concern I would be speaking the words God needed the two congregations to hear.

My nerves weren't helped by either of the services being held in a traditional worship setting. At the linkage church, the service was in the village hall. I was expecting this, but thought there may have been a lectern to stand behind. No such luck. I held my notes and threw them in the air twice! Managed to catch them both times thankfully!

At my home church, the brand new boiler (that is another story), which heats the main worship area, wasn't working, so the service was in the hall. At least the table was higher and there was a table-top lectern which I could put my notes on! Having said that, I had been swithering whether or not to use the pulpit at my home church -neither of my ministers tend to use it as it's very high. That wasn't something I had to think about.

Being in the hall meant the congregation were much closer and, to be honest, does make for a more intimate service. It also means I could feel - really feel - the congregation listening to me. That's not a bad thing, I'm just not used to it!

I like having a lectern or pulpit for preaching the sermon. It gives me somewhere to put my notes, bible etc and my hands. I always wonder what to do with my hands.

During both services, but more so at my home church, there was a bit of my sermon where I could feel myself getting quite emotional. I didn't let it get in the way, and I had thought when I wrote it that part may have caught me. As my hubbie said, at least it shows I care. From a couple of the comments I received about that particular bit, (coincidentally, one from each church) I think they were surprised I would be like that. What a lot of people don't realise is I'm a big softy and really quite shy. Just shows you, you can know someone for years, but not really know them at all.

After the service, I received much positive feedback, even from people who generally don't comment. Even my ministers where impressed. And not all the comments were "nice sermon", there were specifics, such as "I liked how you linked all the themes together in the end" or "I really appreciated the inclusiveness of what you said". Knowing the congregations, I know someone would pick me up if they disagreed or felt my presentation was poor.

I'm just amazed I had this talent I didn't even know I had until about this time last year. When God calls He gives those He calls the skills to do what He has called them to do. He certainly has done that with me.

What's love got to do with it?

As the hymn says "He came down that we may have love", yet in the run up to Christmas - the day we celebrate that love made flesh in Jesus - I don't see that much love. I see buying for the sake of buying, drinking for the sake of drinking. And, if you don't go along with it, if you don't buy (pardon the pun) into this consumer spend, spend, spend mentality you're either a bah-humbug person or terribly, terribly religious. I have had both reactions from my colleagues recently.

I posting my rants about why I both love and hate Christmas (here and here). Over on Nik's blog she's posted a video which pretty much sums up my thoughts and, I'm sure, many Christians at the moment.

I pray love will be at the centre of all celebrations this year. Maybe one day...

Love

Tonight my male minister re-started bible study at my home church. The passage was 1st John 4 7-16. Basically, this is all about those who know love knowing God, as God is love.

The resource we used is a Scripture Union booklet called Fruits of the Spirit. This has a series of questions based on the readings to help stimulate group discussion. As the group know each other quite well, we are comfortable talking about fairly personal stuff. My husband thought the session was pretty deep. The reading defines God as Love; those who know love know God; God's love knows no bounds as He even sacrificed His son to save us from ourselves.

Personally, I find this amazing, wonderful and awesome. I also think this is a major tenet of my relationship with God and therefore my faith. Yes, it is deep, but not nearly as deep as God's love for us.

I know I have never physically seen God, but I see Him all around me. In the smile of a child; the warmth of friendship; the standing up to injustice; when lovers hold hands. I also know the most important thing I can do is try to pass on God's love to those who don't know it. I pray that by my life, word, thoughts and actions others will see the deep joy and reassurance I have from God's love and will come to know it too.