Yesterday, I managed to chum Spot to his 'final' act of worship. I won't add to what he said. Over the summer, if he has been visiting, I have been leading worship. As we progress through our training, actually being at the same church at the same time is going to become more and more difficult. Since Spot began the enquiry process, we knew this was one the cards, so times when we can worship together will be more precious.
Looking to a time 'before ministry' - or was there a time, but just a different form of ministry? - due to the involvement we had in activites in our home church, it was often the case we'd not be sitting together. I, due to being a Young church leader, would be heading off with the children during the second part of the service and he'd be running the projector. Yes, we were in the same building, but doing our own things for the church. Nothing has really changed, then.
I am aware that, probably from now on in, it will be a rare time where we are both 'bums on pews'. From the beginning of September I am covering regular pulpit supply in a local vacant charge* and Spot will begin his first placement, so I can't even go to support him much. He'll be good, though (not that I'm bias, oh no, not at all!). So, I do see that holidays and times where we can worship elsewhere together will be times to be cherished.
But, though ministry has its down sides (and this is just a tiny, tiny wee bit), after 2 years at uni, 3 placements and a long stint of work experience, I really am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing. Looking back, I can see I have been being formed to this role for a long time. The responsibility still terrifies me sometimes, but I know I do what I do trusting in God and trusting where he'll send me.
* In a interesting twist of fate, the last minister at First Stop (before their linkage with Railway Crossing) was the minister where I am going. It's a small world.
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ministry. Show all posts
Monday, 19 August 2013
Monday, 27 May 2013
Paying for calling
It's more than 20 years since I first felt called to ministry. Until I finally 'gave in' it cropped up in a lot of ways. But I still resisted. I was too young; I was too inexperienced; I wasn't academic enough; I wasn't....[insert appropriate excuse here]. Looking back, the experiences, jobs, encounters, interests and general life I've had have all been training me for where I am now (and where I will go). It's pretty cool, but exceptionally humbling to realise God's been in it all along (though, quite why I should be surprised by that, I do not know!).
When I began the enquiry process, one thing which was a bit of a concern was how spot and I could afford it. We do not (despite the motorbike) have an extravagant lifestyle, but there's still bills to pay, transport costs and food to buy. It all mounts up. When we sat down to work it all out, we could manage on spot's salary, just. That was okay. Now, 2 years into training, things have been a lot better than we expected. God really does give what you need.
We are very lucky and we are very grateful. But I wonder if our circumstance had been different, if I'd have thought twice about full-time word and sacrament. What if our circumstances were different? I know from our experience God has been very generous to us, but it's a huge risk. And we don't have childcare or massive travelling costs to deal with.
I honestly don't know, as I've not had to deal with that. I am pretty sure there must be people in their late twenties, early thirties, with mortgages, children and spouses all to juggle, where going without their salary for up to 4 years while they study for a degree just isn't a realistic option. God may provide, but how is the question they have.
I know one of the topics discussed at this years assembly was the lack of people under 45 training for ministry. While the pool of people in that age group in the Kirk is comparatively small, I do think deep and real financial concerns are as much a barrier to those called to ministry as any feeling of a lack of experience.
What's to be done? I don't know. What I do know is I'd hate to think there are people out there who are called to ministry who just can't afford to do it.
When I began the enquiry process, one thing which was a bit of a concern was how spot and I could afford it. We do not (despite the motorbike) have an extravagant lifestyle, but there's still bills to pay, transport costs and food to buy. It all mounts up. When we sat down to work it all out, we could manage on spot's salary, just. That was okay. Now, 2 years into training, things have been a lot better than we expected. God really does give what you need.
We are very lucky and we are very grateful. But I wonder if our circumstance had been different, if I'd have thought twice about full-time word and sacrament. What if our circumstances were different? I know from our experience God has been very generous to us, but it's a huge risk. And we don't have childcare or massive travelling costs to deal with.
I honestly don't know, as I've not had to deal with that. I am pretty sure there must be people in their late twenties, early thirties, with mortgages, children and spouses all to juggle, where going without their salary for up to 4 years while they study for a degree just isn't a realistic option. God may provide, but how is the question they have.
I know one of the topics discussed at this years assembly was the lack of people under 45 training for ministry. While the pool of people in that age group in the Kirk is comparatively small, I do think deep and real financial concerns are as much a barrier to those called to ministry as any feeling of a lack of experience.
What's to be done? I don't know. What I do know is I'd hate to think there are people out there who are called to ministry who just can't afford to do it.
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Future ministry
Okay, so it's a long way off until I am ordained (God willing) an actually a minister, but what is my "vision" is something which has been cropping up.
(To be honest, I don't really have one, bar a combination of leather jackets and dog collars, but only with a red clerical shirt. Maybe even on a motorbike, as bikers can be Christians too!)
A while ago, a friend of mine suggested me eventually becoming a military chaplain. The scary thing is, I haven't ruled it out. Even after the talk at my first candidates' conference from a RAF chaplain, that didn't put me off. But I know they probably wouldn't take me on medical grounds.
Quite a challenge for a confirmed pacifist who was brought up in a house where her uncle should have done national service, but elected to work down the pits as "why should I fight for my country when I cannot vote for the politicians who would send me to war". At the time, voting age was 21.
Somehow, if that's where God needs me to go then he'll have the plan to send me. But maybe it's not me, the idea is just for me to write about it, to get others thinking about it. Whatever the plan is, it's God's and that's what I should focus on.
(To be honest, I don't really have one, bar a combination of leather jackets and dog collars, but only with a red clerical shirt. Maybe even on a motorbike, as bikers can be Christians too!)
A while ago, a friend of mine suggested me eventually becoming a military chaplain. The scary thing is, I haven't ruled it out. Even after the talk at my first candidates' conference from a RAF chaplain, that didn't put me off. But I know they probably wouldn't take me on medical grounds.
Quite a challenge for a confirmed pacifist who was brought up in a house where her uncle should have done national service, but elected to work down the pits as "why should I fight for my country when I cannot vote for the politicians who would send me to war". At the time, voting age was 21.
Somehow, if that's where God needs me to go then he'll have the plan to send me. But maybe it's not me, the idea is just for me to write about it, to get others thinking about it. Whatever the plan is, it's God's and that's what I should focus on.
Tuesday, 2 August 2011
Encouragement in unusual places
I was paying a cheque (yes, I know) into the bank the other day. The teller was lovely and hinted at a "customer review". I mentioned I was going to uni, so would prefer to hold fire until the student accounts came out. Which lead to an amusing but uplifting conversation.
"Oh, what are you going to be studying?"
"Divinity"
"That's interesting. What is that for?"
"It's what ministers study"
"Wow. How long is the course?"
"I need to do 3 years at uni and then there's 15 months probation"
"Oh, I thought it was 5 years. Where do you think you'll minister?"
"Don't know; but early to say"
"I suppose you need to see where you're lead? Well, good luck and all the best."
I never thought I'd get such a supportive and encouraging conversation about my call in the bank. You never can tell.
"Oh, what are you going to be studying?"
"Divinity"
"That's interesting. What is that for?"
"It's what ministers study"
"Wow. How long is the course?"
"I need to do 3 years at uni and then there's 15 months probation"
"Oh, I thought it was 5 years. Where do you think you'll minister?"
"Don't know; but early to say"
"I suppose you need to see where you're lead? Well, good luck and all the best."
I never thought I'd get such a supportive and encouraging conversation about my call in the bank. You never can tell.
Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Bread and wine
It was communion at my home church at the weekend. It's funny, but over the last 3 years, I have had communion probably more times than the previous 10, due to young church commitments among others. Maybe that's why there were some things which struck me on Sunday which I hadn't noticed or thought about before.
Oh, where to start? Lets begin with the bread and wine. Did I read anywhere in the bible of grape juice or (worse) blackcurrant cordial being used in the last supper? No can't recall that at all. So why oh why do churches do this? Non-alcoholic wine for those who are stanch "don't drink and drink" people I can just about understand, but unless they are a lightweight like my Mum, the half-full thimble isn't going to cause issues. I also know there's an argument that having grape juice opens up communion to former alcoholics, but to my knowledge they tend to avoid communion for this reason. That rational would only work if the fact grape juice was used was common knowledge.
And, as for the thimbles. I thought communion was symbolic of God's love poured out for us through the death and resurrection of Jesus? A love which is beyond measure. But this is the Church of Scotland and, well, we can't have extravagance. So, we generally use wee thimbles for communion which are half-full. It's such a generous symbol.
Now, since Spot and I began baking our own bread and rolls, I have become a bit of a bread snob. There's nothing like tasty bread, fresh from the oven. Unfortunately, the bread offered for communion on Sunday was nothing like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect the person responsible for bringing the bread to bake bread, but to be confronted with a plate of slightly stale (when was this cut?) of horrible white bread cut into 1cm squares. To make matters worse, the minister used a lovely (could have been homemade) unsliced, wholemeal loaf when blessing the elements and to pass among the elders. So, lets get this right, the elders on communion duty get the good stuff and the plebs in the pews get the poor substitute. Okay, it's only symbolic, but it doesn't look good when the elders look to begin treated differently from the rest of the congregation. And yet again, the symbol of the outpouring of God's love in stale bread.
Oh, and while I am here, why do the elders get communion first? Is it my church or the norm? If elders are supposed to lead by example, to be servants first, should the plebs on the pews not be served first? Or is there a theological rational behind the practice?
As I said at the start of this post, I've had more experience of communion these last 3 years. Most of those times, I have really felt something different in the atmosphere - a deep and genuine feeling of Jesus' presence in the sacrament. When that's happened, it's been when the group has shared the meal. The common cup and bread. We have served each other and all been served. I don't feel Jesus presence the same way when communion is handed out by the elders with dour faces. But maybe that's just me!
So, when I get into ministry (God willing) everyone is going to get the same type of bread. Spot or I will try to bake it. As for the wine, well, we do make our own. But there is no way it will ever be blackcurrant cordial!
Oh, where to start? Lets begin with the bread and wine. Did I read anywhere in the bible of grape juice or (worse) blackcurrant cordial being used in the last supper? No can't recall that at all. So why oh why do churches do this? Non-alcoholic wine for those who are stanch "don't drink and drink" people I can just about understand, but unless they are a lightweight like my Mum, the half-full thimble isn't going to cause issues. I also know there's an argument that having grape juice opens up communion to former alcoholics, but to my knowledge they tend to avoid communion for this reason. That rational would only work if the fact grape juice was used was common knowledge.
And, as for the thimbles. I thought communion was symbolic of God's love poured out for us through the death and resurrection of Jesus? A love which is beyond measure. But this is the Church of Scotland and, well, we can't have extravagance. So, we generally use wee thimbles for communion which are half-full. It's such a generous symbol.
Now, since Spot and I began baking our own bread and rolls, I have become a bit of a bread snob. There's nothing like tasty bread, fresh from the oven. Unfortunately, the bread offered for communion on Sunday was nothing like that. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect the person responsible for bringing the bread to bake bread, but to be confronted with a plate of slightly stale (when was this cut?) of horrible white bread cut into 1cm squares. To make matters worse, the minister used a lovely (could have been homemade) unsliced, wholemeal loaf when blessing the elements and to pass among the elders. So, lets get this right, the elders on communion duty get the good stuff and the plebs in the pews get the poor substitute. Okay, it's only symbolic, but it doesn't look good when the elders look to begin treated differently from the rest of the congregation. And yet again, the symbol of the outpouring of God's love in stale bread.
Oh, and while I am here, why do the elders get communion first? Is it my church or the norm? If elders are supposed to lead by example, to be servants first, should the plebs on the pews not be served first? Or is there a theological rational behind the practice?
As I said at the start of this post, I've had more experience of communion these last 3 years. Most of those times, I have really felt something different in the atmosphere - a deep and genuine feeling of Jesus' presence in the sacrament. When that's happened, it's been when the group has shared the meal. The common cup and bread. We have served each other and all been served. I don't feel Jesus presence the same way when communion is handed out by the elders with dour faces. But maybe that's just me!
So, when I get into ministry (God willing) everyone is going to get the same type of bread. Spot or I will try to bake it. As for the wine, well, we do make our own. But there is no way it will ever be blackcurrant cordial!
Monday, 5 July 2010
Who are parishioners?
I work in a large office. In all there are about 900-1000 staff in the building. The office is within 10 minute walking distance of 3 (at least) Church of Scotland churches. Yet, in nearly 10 years of working there, I have not seen a minister.
Is that office not part of a parish? Should the minister of that parish not be as concerned about the people in the office as anyone else in their parish? I, like most of my colleagues, spend about 50% of my waking hours in that parish. Potentially longer than those who live there.
There are so many demands on a minister's time, but why not the office block and other workplaces on their patch? Jesus' disciples He called at their workplaces. Jesus did much of His teaching away from the synagogues. Should that not be a model for ministry? Meeting people where they are - letting them know that they are loved and wanted by God. Or, is that a little too much?
I don't know. Maybe this thought has been placed in my heart as it's something God wants me to do. That's a bit scary. But I know I shouldn't be afraid or discouraged as He will personally go ahead and prepare the way for me (paraphrase of Deuteronomy 31:8). Knowing my luck, it might even be, in 5 or 6 years, the very office I currently work in!
Is that office not part of a parish? Should the minister of that parish not be as concerned about the people in the office as anyone else in their parish? I, like most of my colleagues, spend about 50% of my waking hours in that parish. Potentially longer than those who live there.
There are so many demands on a minister's time, but why not the office block and other workplaces on their patch? Jesus' disciples He called at their workplaces. Jesus did much of His teaching away from the synagogues. Should that not be a model for ministry? Meeting people where they are - letting them know that they are loved and wanted by God. Or, is that a little too much?
I don't know. Maybe this thought has been placed in my heart as it's something God wants me to do. That's a bit scary. But I know I shouldn't be afraid or discouraged as He will personally go ahead and prepare the way for me (paraphrase of Deuteronomy 31:8). Knowing my luck, it might even be, in 5 or 6 years, the very office I currently work in!
Wednesday, 2 June 2010
Good Times
I had a lovely afternoon on Monday chatting with my ministers. Mainly, the visit had been arranged to talk over my success at assessment conference, but we spoke about so much else.
I did let them read my report from the conference - they were very impressed. That's good; imagine if they read it and thought "they let people in with a report like that!".
One of my ministers had been in touch with a friend of hers who works closely with Prof. David Fergusson of Edinburgh uni, who had given her advice to contact him for help. Although I'd already persuaded that avenue unsuccessfully, I was touched she'd gone to the effort for me. At the moment, I'm going for the attitude of try clearing, but I won't get my hopes up too much. I suppose I'm fairly resigned to the fact I might not be able to begin training until next year. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's all meant.
So, what to do with myself. I'm already involved in the closing service for the church organisations at the end of June. My ministers and I were bouncing ideas around on Monday and I even came up with the "title" of the service - Growing Stones. No doubt, I'll get roped into various other services etc. It would be good if I could get a chance at other churches in my presbytery. Just need to see what comes up.
So, that's about it for now. I'm sure I'll have plenty to talk about soon enough!!!
I did let them read my report from the conference - they were very impressed. That's good; imagine if they read it and thought "they let people in with a report like that!".
One of my ministers had been in touch with a friend of hers who works closely with Prof. David Fergusson of Edinburgh uni, who had given her advice to contact him for help. Although I'd already persuaded that avenue unsuccessfully, I was touched she'd gone to the effort for me. At the moment, I'm going for the attitude of try clearing, but I won't get my hopes up too much. I suppose I'm fairly resigned to the fact I might not be able to begin training until next year. I've said it before and I'll say it again - it's all meant.
So, what to do with myself. I'm already involved in the closing service for the church organisations at the end of June. My ministers and I were bouncing ideas around on Monday and I even came up with the "title" of the service - Growing Stones. No doubt, I'll get roped into various other services etc. It would be good if I could get a chance at other churches in my presbytery. Just need to see what comes up.
So, that's about it for now. I'm sure I'll have plenty to talk about soon enough!!!
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Selection conference - the letter
Yesterday, I was nervous and slightly distracted all day, wondering if the post would arrive and, more importantly, if the letter from ministries council had arrived.
It was there, behind the door, when Spot and I got home. It was a really small envelope. Not good, not good at all. Results like this should come in large(ish) envelopes.
I had decided during the day I would open the letter immediately - why let the worry go on for longer than necessary. I'd not been accepted, but needed to open the letter to read the report from the conference. To see were I'd gone wrong and begin reflection of where I was go for God next.
Quickly, it was opened. I began reading. It was good news! The assessors has decided to accept me as a candidate in training for full-time ministry. I was stunned, shocked, amazed. I'd done it!
Spot was really chuffed too, as are all the friends and family I have told since then.
God has guided me here and will guide me where I go next. But still. Minister? Me? Wow.
It was there, behind the door, when Spot and I got home. It was a really small envelope. Not good, not good at all. Results like this should come in large(ish) envelopes.
I had decided during the day I would open the letter immediately - why let the worry go on for longer than necessary. I'd not been accepted, but needed to open the letter to read the report from the conference. To see were I'd gone wrong and begin reflection of where I was go for God next.
Quickly, it was opened. I began reading. It was good news! The assessors has decided to accept me as a candidate in training for full-time ministry. I was stunned, shocked, amazed. I'd done it!
Spot was really chuffed too, as are all the friends and family I have told since then.
God has guided me here and will guide me where I go next. But still. Minister? Me? Wow.
Saturday, 14 November 2009
Expanding my vision
The Church of Scotland took a group of children to Malawi during the summer. One of the members of the group is a member of the congregation at my placement church.
Members of the group gave a presentation at the church last night. It was a great testament to my placement church that their member was comfortable telling 100 people of her experience. It was also a testament to the vision of the child support person from 121 to take children to Malawi - to invest in the future and present of the church.
But, that isn't the reason for this post. During the presentation more of my vision (literally) flashed before me. I couldn't concentrate on anything else as the vision wouldn't go away. I think the Holy spirit was making sure I wrote it down, so I use God's words...
My vision is one where I minister to a church where
Members of the group gave a presentation at the church last night. It was a great testament to my placement church that their member was comfortable telling 100 people of her experience. It was also a testament to the vision of the child support person from 121 to take children to Malawi - to invest in the future and present of the church.
But, that isn't the reason for this post. During the presentation more of my vision (literally) flashed before me. I couldn't concentrate on anything else as the vision wouldn't go away. I think the Holy spirit was making sure I wrote it down, so I use God's words...
My vision is one where I minister to a church where
- Everyone has ownership - it's their church, whether they're 1 month old or 90 years old.
- There is investment in future - if the children and young people do not feel integral to the church, the church will die.
- Honour of the old and the contribution they have and still make - I think there is a danger of investing so much in children and youth that the old people in the church are marginalised. That's a great waste of skills, knowledge and experience, which could (and should) be used to fulfil 2.
- Where old learn from young as well as young learning from old.
- Where seeds of faith are sown, watered and nurtured. The investment may not bear fruit for the congregation I minister to, but God will reap the fruit. That's the important part of the investment - we are investing for God.
- Where God's love through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ, is the basis of of the faith of my church.
- Where that Christian faith defines the way the church serves the parish, wider community and world.
- Where all are truly welcome and feel at home in the church, no matter their background, circumstances or need. We all need God's love, forgiveness and redemption through Jesus Christ.
Thursday, 20 August 2009
Trusting God
I've litterally just finished reading "Faith like Potates" - autobiography of Angus Buchan.
What a great book. He's an ordinary farmer with extradinary faith. A faith which called him to plant potates during a forecast drought. A faith which called him to give his farm and life to Jesus in service.
What I really liked about the book is Buchan talks about his torment - the devil talking. His drift away from God and his journey back again. He knows he's not perfect, he's unqualified to preach, he's an ordinary farmer. Yet he has dedicated and risked everything for God to take God's message to everyone. He has endured many hardships, including drought and the accidental death of his nephew. Throughout it all his faith in God and love of Jesus has never waivered.
It's amazing what God will do with lives if we trust Him. I wish I had half the faith Angus Buchan has. That said, reading of this book has come at a good time for me. I have been thinking a lot about the calling I am following. How can I be sure - it is ministry of word and sacrament, it is God's calling, not mine nor others, etc, etc? This book has confirmed what I should have known all along. God has called me and I need to follow His lead. He will give me the words and actions I need to follow His calling if I only trust Him.
At the end of the book there's this prayer:
"Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
I have given my life to you, but I repent right now because I have done very little which is constructive for the kingdom of God. I ask you to forgive me.
From today onwards I am offering myself for full-time service. I acknowledge that the time is short, that the kingdom of God is at hand and the people need to hear the gospel and repent.
There are so few people preaching the good news of Christ, although many are perishing because they have never heard and I want to make a difference. I pray that you will use me in whatever area you are calling me to.
Help me to make a start after I have put down this book. Help me to reach my next-door neighbour, the people down the street and press right in where you lead. And, Lord, if you call me to a foreign country, I pray you will make a way for me and give me the faith and courage to follow it through.
I ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen"
Angus Buchan
I do know God is calling me into full-time service for Him. I do know I want and need to make a difference in God's name. The journey will not be easy, but God will give me no more that I can endure.
With that in mind, tonight I am going with my assessor to met with my presbytery rep to draw up my co-ordinated field assessment agreement. I pray God will guide me through this meeting and my remaining time on my CFA. That I my discern my call fully, and follow Him wherever He leads.
What a great book. He's an ordinary farmer with extradinary faith. A faith which called him to plant potates during a forecast drought. A faith which called him to give his farm and life to Jesus in service.
What I really liked about the book is Buchan talks about his torment - the devil talking. His drift away from God and his journey back again. He knows he's not perfect, he's unqualified to preach, he's an ordinary farmer. Yet he has dedicated and risked everything for God to take God's message to everyone. He has endured many hardships, including drought and the accidental death of his nephew. Throughout it all his faith in God and love of Jesus has never waivered.
It's amazing what God will do with lives if we trust Him. I wish I had half the faith Angus Buchan has. That said, reading of this book has come at a good time for me. I have been thinking a lot about the calling I am following. How can I be sure - it is ministry of word and sacrament, it is God's calling, not mine nor others, etc, etc? This book has confirmed what I should have known all along. God has called me and I need to follow His lead. He will give me the words and actions I need to follow His calling if I only trust Him.
At the end of the book there's this prayer:
"Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
I have given my life to you, but I repent right now because I have done very little which is constructive for the kingdom of God. I ask you to forgive me.
From today onwards I am offering myself for full-time service. I acknowledge that the time is short, that the kingdom of God is at hand and the people need to hear the gospel and repent.
There are so few people preaching the good news of Christ, although many are perishing because they have never heard and I want to make a difference. I pray that you will use me in whatever area you are calling me to.
Help me to make a start after I have put down this book. Help me to reach my next-door neighbour, the people down the street and press right in where you lead. And, Lord, if you call me to a foreign country, I pray you will make a way for me and give me the faith and courage to follow it through.
I ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen"
Angus Buchan
I do know God is calling me into full-time service for Him. I do know I want and need to make a difference in God's name. The journey will not be easy, but God will give me no more that I can endure.
With that in mind, tonight I am going with my assessor to met with my presbytery rep to draw up my co-ordinated field assessment agreement. I pray God will guide me through this meeting and my remaining time on my CFA. That I my discern my call fully, and follow Him wherever He leads.
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