He is risen.

Graveside Sunrise

Every Easter, my home church has a sunrise service on Easter Sunday. Just like the women, we rose early to seek Jesus. Unlike the women, we know he is risen.

As the service was ending, the sun rose through a gap in the clouds. An amazing thing to see. It happened just as the minister was saying "May the Lord make His face to shine upon you". And He did.

The picture I managed to capture sort of summed up this morning, and the first Easter morning, for me. The grave was empty. Jesus had dead and been raised, in order that I may live. Just like this sunrise over the gravestone. Even when things - people, dream, friendships - die, there is still the sunrise which follows. The hope of better things. The promise of life.

We just need to have the faith of the women who believed the angels' words. "Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; he has risen!" (Luke 24:5b-6). And to believe when others tell of of the amazing things they have experienced and been told through God's messengers.

Happy Easter.

A random act of kindness

On my way to youth club tonight, I was stopped by a bus driver. He'd got out of him bus, which was waiting at a bus stop, to stop the traffic in order to let an elderly couple across the road.

I was having a good day anyway, but that still really brightened it.

Healing?

I've been a little silent as I've been on holiday - the hubbie and I managed a few days on Harris and Lewis, but that's for another post. This one is to reflect on a healing service I attended just before we headed off.

My placement church holds a healing service once a month. It's a pretty informal service - beginning with a prayer and meditation and the congregation sing hymns accompanied by a praise-type band in the main worship area while the "healing" takes place in a side room. The healing takes the form of laying of hands and anointing with oil those of the congregation who have come seeking healing.

This was all very much outwith my comfort zone - I'm not touchy feelly at the best of times and why do we need laying of hands etc? Is that not why we now have medical professionals, councillors etc? But I was really keen to see something different and to have my boundaries stretched. Also, done right through the community being "with" the person (if that makes sense?) and supporting them, could be a very positive effect on all involved. With this in mind, rather than stay in the main worship area and sing, I observed 2 acts of healing.

3-4 of the healing team take the person requiring healing aside from the main group and into a quiet room. They ask the person the healing they are seeking. So far, I was okay with this. Then, they began offering advice. It wasn't "have you seen your doctor about this" type advice. Actually, calling it advice is, as I saw it, too polite - they told the person to hand their issues over to God and trust God. I could see where the healing team were coming from, but I don't feel it was appropriate for the person they were talking too. It felt to me the person seeking healing would have felt they were belittling them and their faith.

During this time I wanted to scream - "Stop - this isn't right; can't you see you're making it worse?" - or walk out. All the healing team asked questions and offered advice - perhaps it was expected of me? - but I just listened and observed. That is my role at the moment, fortunately.

A hand-held cross passed throughout the healing group (both "healers" and "healees") to pray for the person seeking healing. I kept my prayer simple as I felt this was most appropriate for the situation. I was also quietly crying and had to keep the prayer short! I'm not a crying sort of person normally either.

Finally, one of the healing team anointed the person seeking healing with oil on their forehead and palms of hands and we all laid hands on them for what seemed an eternity (probably 3-4 minutes). I didn't want to lay hands on them - I wanted to give them a big hug!!! Another prayer was said, we removed our hands and re-joined the main worship group.

The second seeker of healing wasn't so bad, but no advice was dispensed. It was a very different type of person and situation. It was emotionally exhausting, though.

Half way through the service, there is a break where the congregation could chat over tea. I sat back for a couple of minutes to see how this went. As I watched I saw the person from the first act of healing with no-one taking to them, so I did. I could almost feel their spirit lift a little as as was chatted. I didn't get to talk to them for long, but I really know I made a small difference to how they felt.

During the remainder of the service I joined in with the singing (poor people - I can't hold a tune in a bucket!). Partly to see the other side of the service, partly as the healing was so emotionally draining. I couldn't sit beside the first "healee", but whenever I made eye contact with them I smiled - they returned the gesture and their face lit up. It was a full-face smile, not a put on "the mouth's smiling, but nothing else is"-type smile.

The service ends with hugs all round. Again, outwith my comfort zone. Hugs are for those I love, not just for the sake of it. I know, as a Christian I should love everyone, but you know what I mean! I specifically went to hug the first healee though. They wished me the best for my future (they knew I was their as an enquirer to ministry) and thanked me for talking to them. I was really touched and moved by that.

So, this type of worship is still outwith my comfort zone. Personally, I believe biblical laying of hands was an initial gesture to welcome the ill - who would have been unclean - into the community. It's amazing how being part of a community can aid healing - be it physical, emotional or spiritual. I'm also sure the laying of hands wasn't the end - there, we've laid hands, anointed and prayed for you - no. It was merely the start of the process. A process which needs the community - the church, God's people - to totally fulfil together. Only as a body of Christ can healing take place.

Trusting God

I've litterally just finished reading "Faith like Potates" - autobiography of Angus Buchan.

What a great book. He's an ordinary farmer with extradinary faith. A faith which called him to plant potates during a forecast drought. A faith which called him to give his farm and life to Jesus in service.

What I really liked about the book is Buchan talks about his torment - the devil talking. His drift away from God and his journey back again. He knows he's not perfect, he's unqualified to preach, he's an ordinary farmer. Yet he has dedicated and risked everything for God to take God's message to everyone. He has endured many hardships, including drought and the accidental death of his nephew. Throughout it all his faith in God and love of Jesus has never waivered.

It's amazing what God will do with lives if we trust Him. I wish I had half the faith Angus Buchan has. That said, reading of this book has come at a good time for me. I have been thinking a lot about the calling I am following. How can I be sure - it is ministry of word and sacrament, it is God's calling, not mine nor others, etc, etc? This book has confirmed what I should have known all along. God has called me and I need to follow His lead. He will give me the words and actions I need to follow His calling if I only trust Him.

At the end of the book there's this prayer:

"Dear Lord Jesus Christ,
I have given my life to you, but I repent right now because I have done very little which is constructive for the kingdom of God. I ask you to forgive me.
From today onwards I am offering myself for full-time service. I acknowledge that the time is short, that the kingdom of God is at hand and the people need to hear the gospel and repent.
There are so few people preaching the good news of Christ, although many are perishing because they have never heard and I want to make a difference. I pray that you will use me in whatever area you are calling me to.
Help me to make a start after I have put down this book. Help me to reach my next-door neighbour, the people down the street and press right in where you lead. And, Lord, if you call me to a foreign country, I pray you will make a way for me and give me the faith and courage to follow it through.
I ask this in Jesus' name.
Amen"
Angus Buchan

I do know God is calling me into full-time service for Him. I do know I want and need to make a difference in God's name. The journey will not be easy, but God will give me no more that I can endure.

With that in mind, tonight I am going with my assessor to met with my presbytery rep to draw up my co-ordinated field assessment agreement. I pray God will guide me through this meeting and my remaining time on my CFA. That I my discern my call fully, and follow Him wherever He leads.

No operation today

My husband and I had our operations called off. There were no beds for us. It's a pain (in more ways than one!), but other people's needs were greater than ours. We are walking wounded. The ops have been re-scheduled for next Wednesday.

That's all. The paper work for insurance claims are starting to come in. Again, another pain, but it'll get done in due course. Most of the paperwork will be my husbands, but I'll need to claim the replacement costs of mt kit (helmet, jacket, trousers and, potentially, gloves).

On the other hand, we walked away from a car/bike crash. We've got off lightly and everything will get sorted out in due course.

The damage

Yesterday my husband and I visited the police recovery agency to collect our belongings from the Pan and inspect the damage. I think a picture tells a thousand words -



As you can see, the forks are bent, the front fairing is totally knackered, as is the side panels. We also saw the brakes are no longer functioning - believe me, they were on Saturday! - and the head stock (thing that attaches headlight, dash board etc to frame) is bent. Given this damage the frame is almost certainly bent too. The 1300 Pan European has an aluminium frame, and it's nigh on impossible to fix on of those when it's bent.

Bottom line is, we're pretty certain it's an insurance write-off. I've told my husband I do want to get on my bike and behind him, though given our injuries, that won't be for 2 or 3 months anyway. That said, if the insurance company says the Pan is repairable, I wouldn't trust it. I'd always doubt how well the frame etc had been repaired and would not have confidence in it. My husband thinks the same and would dig is heels in with the insurance company, if necessary. Hopefully, it doesn't come to that.

All in though, especially now I've seen the damage to the Pan and the car that pulled out in front of us, I firmly believe we were being looked after. We walked away. Really, bikers aren't supposed to walk away from collisions involving cars or anything bigger. Our injuries will heal and the bike's replaceable. Everything else is optional.

Perhaps, like may other things, in some weird way only God knows (and I do mean this literally) it happened for a reason. I do believe things happen for a reason, it would just be nice to know what the reason was sometimes. At the moment, though my husband and I are learning just how concerned people are for us and how much we can do with 1 pair of hands between us.

Love of each other, our friends, family and God will see us through this.