Starting to get real

A number of people have mentioned I must be getting excited about starting my training. In some ways, I am. After all this waiting, I'll be taking the next step in my journey with God. But, I don't know if excited is really the right word.

I suppose latterly, things have hit me. It's not that I didn't expect the changes I will go through, I'm not that naive, it's just they are happening and I am experiencing them.

There's the members of my home church starting to wish me the best, in case they don't see me before I head off.

There's my minister being concerned they won't see me. Although for a while during the selection process I wasn't at my home church for the Sunday service, she saw me at youth club and Spot was around. That will no longer be the case. She's also a friend of mine, so I'll make the effort to keep in touch.

There's starting uni, again. All the new things I need to do and learn. The hope I'll be good enough. The hope that I'll "fit-in". The hope I won't overcompensate my introverted nature, as I sometime can.

The beginning of conference. I know it'll all be fine and I won't be the only nervous newbie. We're all in the same boat. I'm looking forward to meeting my fellow candidates and forging new friendships.

With all these things at the back of my mind, I'm all too aware this stuff is getting real. Backing out is not an option as I wouldn't want to be doing anything else. God knows me and knows this is exactly the right place for me.