Candidates' conference day 3

The pace of the conference eased off temporarily yesterday, what with it being a Sunday and all that. We began with a service of communion. It was fairly formal and traditional in style. At least it was nice bread. Very good bread, maybe even from Fishers and Donaldson! I often wonder if it's a terrible thing, while taking communion to have "Oh, rustic seeded bread. This is delicious.". That said, I believe Jesus wants to give us the best, so perhaps communion really should be a symbol of that.

Mission and evangelism was an interesting session. Most people I discussed evangelism with recognised there is a lot of baggage with that word. At it's basic meaning it is the Good News. Such a shame it doesn't feel that way for many, even within the church.

Inter-faith issues. The main thing I took away from that, from the Rabbi who spoke to us, was to know my faith during any dialogue. That will be respected by most of other faiths. From a time I spent in the Edinburgh Central mosque a few years back, I have experienced that to be the case. As the Rabbi was pointing out, he struggles to have these dialogues when those he is speaking with do not seem to adhere to some of the basic tenets of their faith, such as a Church of England priest who didn't believe in life after death. As he put it, that's a pretty important thing for Christianity. If we (of any faith) do not know what we believe, we cannot use that to help others and break down barriers. A very challenging and inspiring session.

The rest of the day was free time. A walk to the beach in the rain with a couple of the candidates was refreshing. I needed to get out and it was good to chat with those in similar situations. I like that sort of sociability.

After dinner, the group got together to be social. That's when I remembered why I think of myself as anti-social. "Please miss, can we not have the piano played so loud you can't have a conversation?"  Yes, you are a very good player, but shut the lid. Maybe it's just me, but sociability is being together but not bringing about a situation where everyone does the same thing.

So, too loud music when some people were trying to talk. Then someone produced song sheets. Yes, song sheets. I wondered why this was necessary. "So someone doesn't request a song and we all forget the words". Great, so this is descending into a sing-a-long and it's an all or nothing attitude. It's not I object to a wee bit of a sing-a-long, but don't do it in such a way that the group can't do anything else. It's not anti-social some singing while others listen and//or chat and feel they can join in if and when they feel comfortable. It is anti-social when that is what is happening.

What made it worse was the choice of songs. "I will survive" being regarded as an uplifting one. When I commented "Sitting at the dock of the bay" was a bit morose, I was told I was wrong. HAVE YOU NOT ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THE WORDS? "Feel like I've got nothing to live for and nothings going to bring me back home". Yes, that's really,. really uplifting. Grrr.

It's while "I will survive" was being sung I recalled when at uni the first time round, I would get royally drunk to give my confidence when I was in larger groups and it was the group mentality. Really, I was shy and uncomfortable there, but didn't have the knowledge of myself or confidence to walk away. Last night I finished my pint and headed for bed. And I feel much better for the rest, though I'm not looking forward to tomorrow night's "social night" if yesterday was anything to go by. Each to their own, but I don't go with the herd anymore.

It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day today. Now, I'm going to get ready for breakfast.