Random Reflections

I now have a placement sorted. Met with the person who would be my supervisor and we had a good chat for a couple of hours. Still need to draw up my agreement, but it's a step in the right direction.

I had to fill him in on my background. That is a complicated story to everyone but me. It never ceases to amaze me how many people will say something along the lines of "It must have been very difficult for you". I suppose it was, but that was the norm I had so I nothing to compare it with. As I said, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, though there are many, many people who've been through much worse than I have.

It's not long now until uni begins. Freshers' week is only just over a week away. I can't believe it's come round this quickly nor I have been off work for 6 months! Somehow I think the next 3, 4 years are going to go like a flash.

On the way home from conference my lift and I got talking about stipends. It's not a huge wage, on that we did agree. But I did mention it depends what you're used to. I always regarded myself as well paid for what I did, but I have friends who started work 12 years ago on a similar to salary I ended on. If we were in this for the pay, we wouldn't be entering the ministry.

There was something the moderator said which really struck me. It was about leadership. I've no idea quite why it was that, but something almost freaked out. Crazy I know. There are people who think I am a natural leader. Ah, to see myself as others see me. That would be a great gift. I know I need to be a reflective practitioner, but I don't think anyone really sees themselves truly through the eyes of others. Would we like what we saw necessarily? Or would we be surprised by just how lovely we are? I wonder.

It's funny how God can work in your life. After the moderator's session, I had to get out for space. I sat just off a path on my own wondering if I am good enough. If I have the courage to do what God has called me to do. If I have the support and commitment that's needed for all this study and growth. I was doubting myself. As I sat there, I heard a robin off to my right. He came nearer and watched me as I watched him. Robins are my favourite birds as they may be small, but they are brave and loyal and will fight their corner, even against birds much bigger than they are. They are also curious and like people. I suppose I am a bit like that too. I don't know why or how, but something told me the robin was there as a reassurance from God. Everything is going to be alright.