Money, money, money

Money is a funny thing. It shouldn't be the be all and end all of anyone, but in our current western society, money is required to pay for our daily needs.

I've never been motivated by money, if I had been at the end of my first degree I would have become a hydrographic surveyor. Or, in my last place of work, I could have done as much overtime as I wanted, but what's the point of load of money if I had no time for my friends and family? I had enough to get by and, latterly, felt very well paid for what I did (many of my then colleagues did not have that opinion). I've never been on a big wage and have never earned more than the national average. Yet I was so much better off than many all over the world, or even in my neighbourhood, and at any time in my life.

I have been in positions where my family were wondering whether to eat or pay the mortgage. Whether to put the heating on or pay the insurance. It was a real struggle and I know that will help me when I walk with those who themselves are struggling with such things.

The disadvantage of having struggled at one time or another is I hate to see waste. Why buy something new if the thing you have still does the job? Why buy something new when you can buy it second hand and someone else has paid depreciation?

Generally, I don't holiday abroad. Getting out of Scotland for anything more than a long weekend is a major achievement for me (and that will be a thing of the past now). So maybe a placement abroad wouldn't be right for me. I know many people have got a lot from them, but so have people who did all their placements "at home". Whenever I am encouraged to go abroad, it resonates with me intellectually, but not emotionally. Taking my call to ministry as an analogy, when people suggested I should be a minister I fought and ignored the call, but it touched my heart. It touched something deep within me and I suppose I knew one day I would be where I am now. A placement abroad does not have that resonance for me.

Yet when I hear people talk of hospital placements, I really feel drawn to them (the placements, not the people, though the people are good too!). I feel a hospital placement is the type of placement which will help uncover pastoral gifts I don't know I have and further develop those I am aware of. Once in ministry, those gifts will be essential. No matter where I go I will always have the ill and dying to minister to, along with their relatives. It resonates with my heart and I think I should follow it.

So, what does money have to do with placements? Well, I know there is a payment for them, but everyone I know who has done a placement abroad has commented how they have had to use their own money to support them while away. What if someone training doesn't have reserves to call on? Do they not get to go? It seems somewhat unfair to me that this is the case. I know I couldn't afford to go abroad if my placement payment did not cover my costs and it does not sound as though that is the case. Yes, I know God provides. I have experienced first hand just how generous is can be, but maybe I am not to go abroad at all. Maybe that is not part of God's plan for the formation of the minister I am to be. Maybe that's why foreign placements do not speak to my heart, as where there's a will, there's a way.