Stretching myself

Well, I never thought I'd see the day when I'd be one of Spot's 50 acts. I also never thought I'd led a meditative/reflective Holy week service. Partly because this time last year I wouldn't have had the confidence to try something as different as the service I led last night (both for the congregation and me) and partly I didn't think I would be 'allowed' to try. But, in many ways, that's the point of these placements - to learn, to be stretched, to do things outwith my comfort zone and to try different things while there's someone around to pick up the pieces if necessary.

So, what did I do? Following the idea I 'acquired' from a colleague, I led the evening service congregation at Caledonia Kirk through Holy Week, from the prospective of the female followers of Jesus on Easter Saturday. Opening with prayer and using Mark's passion narrative as a back drop (for want of a better phrase) I talked about the context and feelings the women may have had as they mourned the death of Jesus.

I introduced this to the congregation with the rational that without working through the events of Holy Week, it's easy to go from the celebration of Palm Sunday to the celebration  of the resurrection, without the context of the rest of Holy Week. I also warned them that the service would be peppered with bible readings (and where I was beginning), but that they would be unannounced.

Along with my story telling and the passages from Mark's gospel, I interspersed the service with music taken from the real world (or, as they like to call it at Caledonia Kirk, the secular world - as an aside, as Spot and I were travelling to the service, we realised all the artists had a church music background to some extent). The music was to reflect some of the feelings the disciples on Easter Saturday may have felt about the week's events. Just think about the words to Johnny Cash's version of "Hurt" from that prospective:

"I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair" and

"everyone I love goes away in the end"

Watching the reaction of those gathered as the music played or I told the story was interesting. Somehow, in a bog standard church hall I had managed to create an atmosphere. The only thing which was different in terms of the set up was the chairs were in a circle, rather than rows. The lighting etc was the same. But maybe just the change in seating can make a difference, as we were all sitting together and I was part of the group.

I must admit I was nervous - it was a first for me on many levels and I didn't know if the concept would work (in general or specifically). I did stumble a couple of times, but not too much. I suspect, other than Spot, only my supervisor may have picked up on that (and they are supposed to). What I was impressed with for myself was, though I had a pattern to the service I had no notes (except for the opening prayer and some of the readings). I added additional readings as I went along and coped when one of the tracks I wanted played wasn't available (note to self, check the CDs are in the cases!)..

One thing I do need to bear in mind for doing something like this again is how to finish. I wanted there to be nothing - no grace, no blessing - as that's how the women would have felt that day. Either I needed to have made that clear at the beginning or have a way of getting up and leaving in some way. But, the way things worked, I think that was a minor thing.

The feedback I received last night was very positive. People liked the atmosphere I'd created; how it got them thinking about the events in a way they hadn't before; how it put things into context and made them pause for thought. One person asked if I'd ever been involved in drama before as they thought my acting was great (pantos when I was at primary school and church nativity plays - this isn't RADA!!!).

So, I'm glad I took myself out of my comfort zone. I have seen what I can do and that I seem to be able to do it well. If I'd rested on my laurels. I would never have found that out and will not grow into the best minister I can be.