3 weeks in

It’s now almost 3 weeks since I started distance learning and I am rather enjoying it. I more or less mastered the Greek alphabet in the first week of classes, though doing as our tutor recommended and writing it out daily, combined with testing myself with flash cards Spot downloaded to my phone definitely helped.

My first essay for Mark has now been completed. The system at Aberdeen is the first two essays are formative and, as such, do not count towards the final mark; they are there to check we students have the right end of the stick. My problem wasn’t writing 500 words, but only writing 500 words.

Sometimes I get concerned whether or not I’ll be good enough for studentdom; I wasn’t that studious first time round and it has been 11 years. So, distance learning will certainty break me in. I’m also concerned I don’t get a high enough grading for these courses and Edinburgh uni won’t give me a place. I’m sure it won’t come to that, as I am putting a reasonable amount of effort into my studies (maybe too much). I suppose I’d be happier if I had a letter from Edinburgh Uni confirming my unconditional place for starting divinity next year. But, I’ll just have to be patient for that. It also helps to have applied...

I am doing some of my study during breaks at work. I see my colleagues looking at the various books I have on my desk (the bible, Elements of New Testament Greek and a commentary on Mark). None of them ask why I’m reading them. I haven’t told my colleagues why I've applied for voluntary severance (VS). There are some who'd be thrilled and supportive. Unfortunately, they are in the majority. I know anytime I said or did something they felt was inappropriate for "someone who's going to be a minister"I won't hear the end of it. Given I have been bullied for my faith in this office in the past, I don't want to give them ammunition. Besides, if they knew I was leaving anyway, why accept my VS application when I will be natural wastage soon enough.

As for study, I also need to remind myself it is also first year standard. I think I am still very much in fourth year mode. On Thursday I, along with the rest of Mark's gospel's class, will receive feedback from my essay. Once that comes back, I know I'll feel more comfortable as I will then know what is expected of me. Hopefully it's positive!