First time out of the way

It's been a busy week this week. Since Saturday I've done 2 pre-funeral visits, written a draft service for Sunday, done some prep for a community event service, also on Sunday and lead all or part of 2 funerals. So much for a rural backwater!

Yesterday I led the opening prayer and reading. That much I have done while on placement. But, did you detect there was one coming - the tradition in the Highlands is to also comment on the bible reading. So, to prevent it becoming a mini-sermon, I tried to address the family and give them reassurance that their loved one was in a better place and they would see them again, in the context of the passage, of course. I felt it was appropriate and hit the right tone, judging by the family's body language and reaction after. One son was initially reluctant for me to be involved in the service at all and I was respectful of their wishes, but their mind had been changed (not by me, I hasten to add). They came to me and thanked me for my part and the word of reassurance I had given them. It was a relief I had struck the right balance and gained their trust and respect.

Today was a bit more of a big deal, as I led the whole act of worship. This was the first time I had done so in any funeral context and was feeling very nervous. It was a smaller funeral than yesterday, but not too small. It did bother me that the non-immediate family were miles away from the family. That made talking to the congregation more difficult.

The tradition here, along with a comment on the bible passage used, is that the family gather in the vestry. If I'm being honest, I could have done with the head space, but I was there to serve them, not the other way around. I hope I gave an appropriate listening ear. Perhaps just the presence is the right thing to do?

I did get a wee bit freaked out when the very small vestry was filled and I was crowded into the corner. Really, is there any need for all who were related to the deceased to wait in the vestry? Traditions can be changed (after all, I was a woman at a graveside!). But that's just a bye the bye and something I had no control over. Fortunately, it wasn't for long.

As I headed into the church, I suddenly realised I hadn't miked up! So, I sat down while the organist finished their piece and slipped it on. Anyone else would have thought I was gathering my thoughts before the service started!

I felt the service went reasonably well. The family seemed to be with me, judging by their body language etc. They even laughed at a couple of anecdotes I recounted. It wasn't my intention to be humorous, but it did lighten the mood a little.

I stood at the communion table for the whole service. With the family to my side, that was maybe a poor choice of position. Next time, if there is a next time here, I will use the lectern. Then, I would face the family, which I think would be more appropriate.

I'm glad to have go that out of the way. Not in a bad way, but now I have an experience of leading a whole funeral service, and one in a very different context to outwith the Highlands. I think it must have gone well as the church officer only found out that was my first one at the end of the service and was a little surprised. Oh, looks like I am managing to prefect the swan - calm on top, paddling for dear life underneath!

I hope I have the opportunity to visit the deceased's closest family as a post-funeral visit. Not to polish my ego, but in order that the church serves their needs, rather than casts them adrift once the formalities are out of the way. And, if I am able, I pray to take God's presence with me.