Feeling a bit guilty

I'm feeling a wee bit guilty. For the past 7 months, while I was on placement, I headed to the Big Kirk for their 9:30 service before going to work. The primary motivation for this was to keep my sanity. I knew, after the first week at Caledonia Kirk, that I needed to find a way to have worship - the Big Kirk fitted the bill.

Over the few months, I started to feel I was a part of the congregation. I'd pass friendly comment with people in the pews, I'd chat with people over a brew between their morning services and I went along to their Advent and Lent bible studies.

Through it, I felt connection with God, and challenged to think about my own place in his plan. That's in a good way. I heard preaching which did not allow the status quo and rattled cages. It made the congregation uncomfortable.

Though I sort of realised it before, that brought home to me the importance of getting to know where a congregation is - their hopes,  their fears, their ambitions, their faith, their knowledge. Without that, it's just not possible to 'be' the minister they need to be. It also highlighted that if preaching always toes the line and never shakes people up, then it's not doing its job. That takes balls, but needs to be done from time to time. But can only be done when a minister has built up a relationship with the congregation, so they know where the congregation is coming from.

So, why the guilt? I don't know when I'll get a chance to get back. At the moment, I'm taking the chance to tag along with spot for his 50 acts, then in 3 weeks time I'll be away for my work experience placement. Hopefully I can return after the summer.