Always point to God

In the last few weeks I have been reflecting on Matthew 6:1-6, as it keeps cropping up in various places; both the specific passage and general conversations.

I was brought up not to brag about stuff or my abilities. I'd love to say it's the good Calvinist in me, but perhaps it's just being Scottish. In many places I have cringed when people have sought to praise what I have achieved (more ungraciously, I tend to cringe when others are overtly praised too). It's part of my psyche to, not so much high my talents under a bushel, but more let people find out for themselves, rather than hear me 'brag' about them. I suppose that made the initial idea of a journal back at extended enquiry quite daunting as I had to be honest about my successes as well as my failures.

Okay, that's a bit off topic from the Matthew reading, but I feel that it's all part of the spirit of the passage - that God looks into our hearts. Through looking into our hearts he sees why I do what I do. Am I doing it through being seen to be doing something (not my style), as part of my calling (I am aware just being there can be difficult for me, but it's not about me - it's about taking God's presence into situations, to people and to places) or some other reason? I pray in all I do which I choose to do I am doing quietly, humbly and worshipfully. If not, I am showing off and God will see right through it.

Which does create a tension. Firstly, I need to tell others what I can do. At some point I will look for a probation placement and the church I will go to will want to know that, as will the church I am eventually called to minister to. Surely that's all pointing to me, rather than God? Or am I just over analysing this? I suspect I am. Again, it's all about intent, I believe.

Then, there's churches which do great work all over Scotland (at the moment I am specifically thinking of The Kirk). They go about it in their communities and congregations, with few if any beyond that area appreciating what they do. Should they tell others or keep it to themselves? Again, I think that's all about intent. If it gives ideas and/or encouragement to other congregations, great. If it helps obtain funding from external bodies to further their work, again, great. If it shows off what a church, as they see themselves as 'better' than their neighbours, I get twitchy.  But that's judgemental and that's not a good thing for me to do.

So, now I am trying to figure out a way where I can hold all this in tension, both with my own self and where I will serve. At the end of the day, everything I and the church I will serve does should point to God. If it doesn't I might as well quit when I am ahead!