Getting assessed

Yesterday, I took as much of the service as I could at Caledonia Kirk. This was as I was being assessed by the speech trainer from ministries council. As no one really does much more than one part of the service, a couple of people did mention they wondered why I was doing so much (I did the opening prayer, children's talk and sermon).

Though I was nervous, I was also strangely relaxed about this. It was the third time I've preached at Caledonia, but first time I've done a children's talk there. And it's the second time I've been assessed by the speech trainer, who's lovely and really wants to help and encourage all the candidates.

A couple of things helped with the sense of 'comfort' (sorry, I can't think of a better word. Acceptance that I have this gift, but with the humility and knowledge I am doing it in God's strength, not mine, with the prayers others leading worship offered on my behalf before the service (and throughout the week for some). Though I do not come from a church culture where others would be told so often they are being prayed for (more likely, they'd be told they were thinking of them), I do appreciate them. Its touching and humbling that in all these people have going on in their lives, they have the time and thoughtfulness to pray for me - me a mere student who's only been there for 3 months!

Over all, I felt my contribution to the service went really well. I have definitely grown in confidence and competence since the speech trainer saw me this time last year. That is down to experience, though I know the academic study does help a lot, as I have more tools and materials to work from. Practise and study go hand in hand, that's for sure.

I did slightly stumble in the opening prayer and I'm not entirely sure why. But I recovered and the speech trainer, though noting it, didn't see it as an issue and did mention most would not have noticed. The other aspects flowed, which was heartening. I even got a good bit of interaction with the children, which was a relief, given it was the first one (no pressure, when being assessed). I thought I engaged the congregation as well as the children, and the speech trainer waxed lyrical about my interaction with them and the congregation, so it's good to know my reflections match the reality!

The sermon went surprisingly well. I had the difficult job (my choice) of talking about kingdom and covenant in the Lord's prayer. I thought I was using my notes for an acceptable bit of it, but knew them well enough that I wasn't reading them and was able to engage with the congregation. I also felt I had a good pace, volume, story, flow etc (and I did get quite passionate about the work of Crossreach - in context, of course). A few people mentioned how they noticed my passion come across and that really drew them in. All of this was acknowledged by the speech trainer. He also told me (and in hindsight, I can see it) that I was very courageous, that I would make my points, drawing people in, making eye contact with them, then (and only then) I would refer to my notes for the next bit.

After the service, I have loads of people thanking me. A few even said they felt very challenged, but in a good way. That's what I hoped for, and pray it was God's word they heard and not mine, but that's always my prayer.