What is pastoral care?

The title of this post may seem a bit strange, but it's something I've been wondering since filling in my self-appraisal form for this placement. In the section about pastoral care, I had little to write. My formal pastoral encounters had all been during my supervisor's vestry time and they had mainly (though not all) had been people wanted married or their children baptised, so nothing really difficult. Also, I was never allowed to go alone, resulting in me being an observer, rather than actually offering pastoral care.

On my form I wanted to put things about having coffee with members of the congregation after the service, and various other similar 'in passing' type encounters. This was 'negotiated' off my form, as my supervisor does not regard those as pastoral care.

So, where does a conversation about the weather which develops into a person divulging some very deep painful things, because they are talking to the 'minister' become pastoral. I know my thoughts on this and, from talking to others, it seems the 'in passing' can be the door to something deeper - for both sides.

I know there are some at Eagleside who have appreciated me taking time to listen and support them, and they have expressed this. So, have I sold myself sort in the form? Perhaps not. After all, my supervisor did not observe these conversations, merely was aware I stayed for tea after the service. I suppose it's a different approach to pastoral care I have and I now think the benefits of doing what I do naturally - drink tea and listen, with a side portion of knowing a lot of randomness, builds relationships, breaks down barriers and opens the pathway for me to walk with people in their journey through life, as a representative of Christ's church.

Usefulness in Randomness

I know stuff. Loads of random stuff, some very useful, some...less useful. The usefulness does depend on the context. Knowing what orthorectification is isn't going to be very useful in most instances, especially in ministry (though one never knows). Knowing where the toilets are in a range of places can be very handy...

So, I know random stuff. When I know some things, occasionally, I get the following reaction:

How do you know that?

I just do is usually the reply. I remember stuff. There were times I wish I didn't do this, but recently I have managed to have a conversation with a couple of people that I may otherwise not have had. Knowing something that they knew about allowed me to relate to them in a way I couldn't have otherwise. It allowed me a way in to show God's love to them and make them feel valued and included.

So, now I think, thank God for filling me head full of stuff.

Just hope this also works for exams...

On forgiveness

A couple of weeks ago, over on Danny's blog, she talked about forgiveness and wondered about our stories.

I've had a recent experience which showed putting the past behind me didn't mean I was ready for dealing with a person who hurt me, and my family, really badly when I was a child. It was a long time ago and I had grown older and wiser. In many ways, I am the person I am today because of this. Even bad experiences can have a long-term positive affect.

This person is a member of my placement church, though I didn't know that before I began. Had I know, would I have gone? Honestly, I don't know. So, it made leading any part of worship very different. God loves them as he loves me. They are there worshipping the same God I am. So I must, I have to forgive them, otherwise I am not forgiven myself and, as such, cannot truly worship God.

This was especially brought home to me one communion. I was sharing this with this person, as member of that congregation. We are both member of the body of Christ and God was (and is) in us in that sacrament. So, I ensured I shared the peace with them - and truly meant it when I shook hands with them.

I do agree with Danny, though. I can't forget the past. But I can move on from the position of feeling hurt and anger towards someone to showing grace and love towards a fellow Christian.

Few things have taught me more about grace - that I should have for others and God's all accompanying grace - than this has.

Get a cleaner in

Since beginning actual ministry training, I have managed to get into the sort of conversations which talk of - of all things - cleaning the manse. Yes, it is a rock 'n roll life one leads as a ministry candidate!

I know the benefits. More time for me to do ministry things; more time to be me and do things I enjoy. It could help give employment (perhaps even in an area with limited opportunities). But, there's the whole, for me, getting above my station thing. I may, in theory, be middle class, given my education background, but I'm no'. Wherever I minister, I want to be 'one of them' so to speak. I want the people of the congregation and community to see I'm not different or special or holy just because I am a minister. In some areas, that would mean the Gerbils doing their own cleaning - even their windows.

Besides, I think my Mum would disown me if I got someone in and my Gran would turn in her grave. You can take the girl out of the working class area, but you can't take the working class out of the girl. And I am proud of who I am and my background. To deny that would be to deny who I am.

Though, give me a wee while in a change and my tune might change...

Seen and reported on

Well, the paperwork for this placement has been done. Generally it's good, though it really shows not just what I've learnt, but just how much I still have to learn! (Though I am very aware of that).

There are a couple of things which I'm not sure where my supervisor got them from and I was a wee bit put out, but he's got to base his report on what he's actually seen. Mainly, the potential 'issues' are around leadership and dealing with conflict, which I hadn't had any experience in during this placement. There' also experience with children, but I expected that and had put that on my form.

These are things I need to keep in mind during my next placements and fin ways to show and develop my leadership in all circumstances. Hopefully, I'll get the chance with the next placement to begin to address the issues and continue to develop in all aspects of ministry, so I may become the best I can be.