Getting Serious now

Last night I had a meeting with my supervisor and the presbytery rep, in order that I could start the Co-ordinated Field Assessment. Basically, it was a form filling evening. There's a Field Assessment agreement we had to draw up. This sets out the aims and objectives (for want of a better phrase) for the next 6 months. Some are already on the form - all enquirers are expected do do them, such as participate and observe worship - and others were agreed following discussion - such as engaging with organisations associated with my placement church and meeting their leaders.

Even now, although I feel strongly this is the right course I am pursuing, I still am waiting for someone turning round and say nah, we don't think you should be a minister. That said, every minister I have spoken to says when they went to selection school (prior to this long process) and got the letter saying yes, we want you to become a minister, they were pretty surprised. I know God calls the most unlikely people and I definitely am one of those!

Tonight I have been doing some of the other paperwork I need to send off to church HQ (aka 121). One form is a background form. This asks questions such as "which person, event or place has had the most influence in your life so far?" and "What in life has brought you most regret?". Pretty probing, eh? The worst thing is, I really don't know what they are looking for, but I suppose that's the point...

If you were wondering, my answers to those questions were my Mum (she's hate me saying that) and nothing. I chose my Mum as so much of who I am and what I have done has been influenced by her. She is a single parent which was definitely not the done thing in the mid-70s. She did have a lot of support from her Mum and brothers, but ultimately it was her choice. As you can imagine, that had a big influence on how I was treated throughout my childhood, which in turn has made me the person I am today.

Also, when I was 3, I asked my Mum if I could go to church. She did (she had always wanted an excuse to go again). Luckily, the minister and congregation at the church she went to didn't judge her badly for being a single parent. In fact, the minister told her we all make mistakes, it is how we deal with them that matters. He was a brilliant man, as you may have gathered!

As for regrets - well, I've had a few, but too few to mention (!) - I said I didn't had 1 thing that I would change. Yes, there have been wrong decisions I have made, but I believe I won't be in the position I am in if I had never made wrong choices. The experiences I have as a result of those choices have also influenced me and have shaped me in a way which will allow me to serve God - everything happens for a reason, so it shouldn't be regretted, but learned from.

This stage in my enquiry fills me with excitement, trepidation, nervousness. With God's blessing I will grow and develop in my relationship with Him and everything else will fall into place.