New experiences

A couple of new experiences today. Firstly, I presented what my placement church calls the reflection of thought. This takes the position of the children's address when the Sunday School isn't on. Their Sunday School starts next week.

My assessor sent me the material for it. They are using Living Stones materials, which follows the 3 year lectionary cycle. The material I was given I could have pretty much just read verbatum, but I re-wrote it to make it a little more "adult", if that makes sense?

I was actually quite nervous doing it. It's different to anything I've done before, yet the same. I've done sermons (two) and children's addresses. This seems to sit somewhere in the middle and I'm still a little confused by it. That's another thing I need to discuss with my assessor, just to find out the rational, as it seems to really work in her congregation.

Anyway, I'm slightly digressing. It seemed to go well. Even though I was nervous, I managed to crack a joke. After the service one of the worship team told me they'd really enjoyed it and I managed to get the message over clearly. That was really re-assuring, especially coming from someone who's had to do it too.

The other new thing was a meeting with the Sunday School leaders. My assessor gets them to do the children's address and the meeting was to discuss who would do which weeks and select the children's hymn for each week. Well, generally I don't do Sunday afternoons. Anything after 1:30 I regard as my time. This is a rule my hubbie and I started when we first moved in together so even if we had a really busy week and Saturday, there would be at least 1 afternoon a week where we could do something nice together. That said, my assessor told me the meeting starts at 12:30 and generally last no more than an hour. Okay, I can handle that - still finished by 1:30.

But, it didn't start until nearer to 1:10. At 2 I had to make my apologises and go. Harsh I know, but I can't let it slip.

However, the meeting went well. I've been signed up to do 1 address before Advent. I also made a couple of suggestions for hymns - one of which I didn't know, but the words really tied in with the theme. No-one else knew it, but it was selected on the basis of the words. I felt I coped well in the meeting - I listened to others and shared my opinion where appropriate. Just a normal meeting, really.

So, that's about it for now. More will follow soon, I'm sure!

That was nice

I bumped into a member of the church I had my last placement in this morning. We chatted for a little while and she was really happy to see me and interested in where I am now.

I told her where I was and I was still in the middle of the selection process. "Oh, I really enjoyed hearing you during your time with us" she told me "I would be surprised if you weren't selected".

I was really quite touched by her sincerity, warmth and genuine interest in how I am. My encounter with her really lifted me and has shown me my time at my last placement did leave a positive impression.

Thank God for that!

No need to be nervous

Last night's meeting went really well. Both my ministers where at home (both are part-time) and I had a really good chat with them


My female minister has volunteered to start being a local assessor for the CFA, so I pulled her leg saying she only wanted to talk to me to see what she was getting into! She was really interested to here what it involved and how I felt about the whole process.


She asked how things had gone at my last placement. At the time, I hadn't been very open about how it was going, as she would have tried to help and my then supervisor may have taken it as interference. I told her I didn't get fortnightly meetings and I only found out about how some things had went in my supervisor's final report. She was really shocked by this. I actually defended my supervisor, saying "he was off sick, so probably was ill before that, but might not have really realised how it was affecting his work".


I mentioned my ministers how my supervisor had written in his report he could see no evidence for my opinion that I felt I get on with most people. Also, he said I was really opinionated, talked over others and didn't listen to others opinions. Well, the expressions on my ministers' face was a picture of, well, shock. Both of them affirmed I don't do that - yes, I have opinions and am not afraid to share them, but I don't do any of the things my supervisor said I do. They have worked with me in a variety of situations where working and communicating as a group is essential. They are also very honest and would be the first to say if I was how my supervisor portrayed me. That said, I know they would have had a quiet word in my ear about my behaviour if I did dominated discussions etc well before now.


It's funny. I have been thinking about this so much since my local review. Deep down I knew my supervisor was wrong and the meeting where he formed that opinion was really out of character for me, but when you kept getting told you're no good at something, or do something wrong and inappropriate, you start to believe it. My hubbie had told me I wasn't like that and, yes he's honest, I still wasn't convinced. This has convinced me. That doesn't make me perfect and I know I'm much more aware of how my style an affect others and be taken the wrong way.

I still see my last placement as useful, even thought it wasn't that positive. I told my ministers that last night and my male minister said "yeah, how not to do things!". I have sort of thought that at times, but that isn't all. My last placement really placed a mirror in front of me to make me look properly at myself. I am convinced that would not have happened if I'd had my current assessor to begin with. I'm also more accepting of my call and discussing it. I wasn't before.

It never ceases to amaze me how God uses all experiences to help us follow Him.

Why the nerves?

I'm visiting my home church minister this evening. I am looking forward to catching up and letting her know where I am in terms of my call, my feelings about it etc. But, I'm actually a bit nervous about it.

Strange - I know and get on with my minister really well. She is a friend, but this is really the first time in over a year I've really talked about the selection process and my feelings with her. Partly that was I wasn't as "into" my last placement as I should have been, partly she never really asked me directly and partly I was so frustrated with my former supervisor, but I didn't want to mention that to her, in case it was take the wrong way.

I'm sure it'll be a good chat. I'm so much more open to my call and discussing it with others than I was even a couple of months ago.

I'll post tomorrow how it went...

Did I help?

The fraught Mum, trying to pack her shopping.
The little boy, 3 years old maybe, not being naughty, just being a child - trying to entertain himself while Mum does the shopping.
Me - just popping in for some milk. I'm not in a hurry. I say "hi" to the little boy and smile towards the Mum.
The Mum - worried she's holding me (the lady!) up and her little boy's annoying me.
But still, I'm not bothered. I remember what I used to do when I was bored waiting for my Mum and 3 years old.
As I go to leave the store, the Mum's finishing off her packing. She's still worried she's holding me up.
I say "excuse me" to her little boy and, just before I turn away, tell the Mum "he's fine, don't worry about it".
She smiles and looks relived.
I hope my small (very small) act of kindness brightened her day.