I've been thinking about whether, as a minister, I should let a congregation know if I'm struggling with something, having a heavy work load or had a week like last week. Having recently read "In Jesus' Name" by Henri Nouwen and similar works for an essay, I'm inclined to think it's a good thing congregations knowing I am just human too.
I have witnessed a number of ministers who will not let their congregations know they are feeling over burdened or tell them of happenings in their lives. Now, I know that has a lot to do with personality and relationships. I also don't think it being mentioned in the course of the service is appropriate, but if a member of a congregation asks how my week has been, it would go against my integrity to lie when its been rubbish and act like everything's fine.
Surely letting congregations know allows them to support their ministers? I personally think it would make minister look more normal - congregations would see they struggle with illness, worry, doubt, fear, just like everyone else does.
Or am I being a bit naive? Would opening up to a congregation give them ammunition to attack the vulnerabilities, rather than support another member of the congregation? Or does it allow the minister to be part of the congregation, rather than separate from it, so they are supported and sustained as a member like all the other members?
I know, where appropriate, I'd rather share how my life is going, whether well or bad. I won't make a song and dance about it, but will share if asked, being mindful of the sensitivity of the person and the situation (aka remembering the time and place). I don't think I could serve in a church where I felt I could never share pain in my life and not feel supported as a member of the whole, rather than separate from, the church.
You struck a chord with me here. I'm a sharer ( when appropriate) Lucy the dods Dad is definitely not. I even write an article for our newsletter each month usually something that's happened to me or the family and how God has taught me from the various scrapes I inevitably get into. It's really popular and gets lots of feedback. Lucythedogs dad cringes ( though secretly he's quite proud of me I think) and just today having coffee with a friend ( retired minister) we were talking about him being totally overcome at our oldsters funeral he was so annoyed with himself but as the friend said it showed the human face of the clergy. Everyone knew my Oldie was part of ou family and much loved, it would have been unnatural if he hadn't shown any emotion. He's always drummed int me that we are there to support the family not indulge our grif. That bit him on the bum and came as a shock to him, but yes showed that even he had feelings. I think ou have to find a balance though.
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