Funeral Prayers

Next week I will be involved in leading part of a funeral. It will not be the whole service - just a prayer and possibly a reading - but it is necessary I begin to gain experience in leading funerals.

I have drafted a couple of prayers of approach, based on, but heavily adapted from, the Book of Common Order. Partly for the occasion, but also to begin to have a pallet of prayers I can use in a variety of circumstances. So far, I have drafted one for a funeral of a church member and one for a parish funeral (for want of a better phrase). But I did think, why did I feel the need to make them different? On one hand I am aware there will be funerals I will take purely because the deceased lived in the parish and there is no connection at all with the church. On the other hand, I believe Jesus Christ came to the world for everyone, irrespective of their personal beliefs, background etc. So, am I making the wrong decision having different prayers?

Then, there's the subject of language. Should I use inclusive language such as us and our, rather than you and yours? Though the funeral is an act of worship, I see my role as much one of supporting the bereaved as leading the act of worship. Could including myself be seen as inappropriate by the mourners?

At the end of the day, when I will lead a funeral service I am acting as a representative of the church. In doing so, I am showing the church care for the mourners and, in turn, that God cares for them. If I can do that in the prayers I have drafted and how I lead them, I hope I will have done that.

Too good to be true?

Feedback from many people at Highland Cathedral, including my supervisor, is very positive. And I shouldn't be complaining. Even the 'negatives' aren't really - they are more the kind of encouragement and advice I need for my stage in training and level of experience.

It's great to have people responding to me so well. I have been given a project to manage and it has been commented I seem to be good at encouraging and ethusing others. Wow - there's a gift I didn't know I have and I know it will be very useful in the future. Being pro-active has also been commented on in a positive way - again, I know that it something I will need to be in ministry as, once I am 'let loose' there will not be anyone to tell me what and when to do things. For me, being pro-active is partly to get the most out of this placement, but also to allow me to manage my time well.

Though this is all good and I can even acknowledge this in myself, I can't help but wonder if it's too good to be true. If it's all going to blow up in my face. But that's possibly a reflection on how thing went at my last placement. Also, my need to strive for the best means, I hope, I will never become complacent about anything I am doing in ministry, as it is all important. Yes, with experience some things will be less daunting and I will be more confident doing them, but I hope and pray I never take what I and others do for granted, as then would probably be the time I would need to move on.

All's well.

I'm really lucky here at Highland Cathedral. Though it's challenging me, it's going with who I am, rather than against as my last placement did in many ways. To begin with I thought it was a bad thing feeling at home and seemingly fitting in really well, but now I realise that it is not. After all, when I enter a charge I don't want to be constantly on my guard and feeling like a square peg in a round hole.

The good friends I am staying with have and continue to be fantastic. I just never fail to be amazed at how lucky I am here. I am so glad I took the risk to be away from home for the summer to get an experience which I could never had obtained had I stayed at home. I really love it here to the point where spot and I have discussed whether or not I would consider a charge in the area around Highland Cathedral, Lets just say, I haven't ruled it out.

My supervisor is really good too. Such a contrast with my last one, though I did learn a lot there. I know I just get on with my current one in a way I didn't with my last one - which isn't a failing on either part, just human nature that there are people individuals click with over others.

I've even already built up really good relationships with the congregation - who are so helpful, supportive and encouraging. And they also understand they only need to remember 1 name and face, but there's hundreds of them! Some other congregations don't get that!

So I thank God for bringing me to this place. I am learning a lot and gaining in confidence and assurance in my abilities. I am where I need to be in this place and time, which is very cool.

Carberry Conference

Last week I was at a candidates' conference. It was a pain to have to split my placement to go and, as I didn't really enjoy my first one, I was quite apprehensive about it. I very much saw it as a chore and something to be endured this time last week. And I couldn't help but think the time table looked quite boring!

Well, maybe I'm more relaxed about who I am (this is true); maybe there was a different dynamic with the change in location and attendees; maybe now knowing some of my peers through ministries training network, uni and other conferences has made me more comfortable in and with the group. Whatever it was, I came away having generally enjoyed it (except for the food - but that's a minor detail and possibly what brought the group as a whole together!). I got to see those of my peers I hadn't since August, share time, fellowship, stories, fun and laughter with them. And most of the sessions were good too (though not all...the team building sessions were, well, not really that helpful).

I'm now looking forward to the August conference. Meeting up with those I know again and getting to know the new candidates, whatever ministry they are training for. It's a shame we all can't keep in touch more (okay, so that's more me keeping in touch with them as most are on Facebook) and share time with each other more frequently. I realised that though I publish some of my thoughts here, I prefer catching up with people face-to-face. Wonder how that could be done easier to benefit all the candidates - a massive Skype conversation perhaps!

I do know the relationships I build up in these conferences will help sustain me in ministry and I need to work at them. I must admit it is something I'm bad at. Maybe I could join twitter and use that to keep in touch with my peers...but then I suspect I may (yet again) be in the minority on that call.

Preaching today

I preached for the first time today at Highland Cathedral. Before the service began and while I gathered my thoughts I was nervous, but tried to use that to my advantage.

I did use the personal anecdote I was swithering about using earlier in the week. I wasn't sure if it would be the right thing to do nor if I would manage to say what was needed to be said without coming across as either too emotional or inappropriate. In the end, I feel I found the right balance and I made the correct choice, though wouldn't do it every week.

To begin with I was a wee bit fast. I realised this and changed pace when I moved to from introductions to biblical reflection. I know this was because I was nervous, though feedback indicates most people did not pick up on this and my diction was very clear all the way through.

After the service I received almost universally good feedback. Constructive feedback told me I was clear in terms of content and diction. I was also told by a few people that they found it very thought provoking, sincere and reassuring. One person did say it was alright and would tell my why it was just alright later, though even my supervisor who heard the comment was confused by that and, pretty much, told me to disregard it, given the other feedback he'd heard.

So, I need to be aware  that I don't get off to too much of a rattling start, but that didn't impede even those with hearing difficulties. Over all, I feel this was a good, well presented sermon, which spoke to the congregation gathered today.