Funerals (or lack thereof)

One thing I haven't experienced on this placement is funerals. I did observe one at the beginning of placement, but have had no further involvement. It's unfortunate that timing hasn't favoured me being avaliable. If I could have made the pre-funeral visit I wouldn't have made the funeral itself, what with uni classes. I did suggest to my supervisor I could miss a lecture if that would help, but (quite rightly) he dismissed this, as my studies come first.

It's unfortunate, but there's time yet. It is an important part of the parish ministry and I am all too aware there are some churches where the minister could just do funerals and have no time for anything else. It's also something which terrifies me. Although some may think I'm an emotional retard, I can get very touched at funerals (even the one I observed, where I didn't even know the deceased). I know it's part of being human and it's no bad thing for a minister to be seen to be human, but there's also the professional aspect of leading the funeral service. There, I need to have the balance of compassion and professionalism right, otherwise the service will not be a fitting tribute nor enable the family (sorry, not expressing this very well).

I'm sure it's all happening for a reason. I know I've experienced much more than I thought I would on this placement and not just worship stuff - management, leadership, team management, pastoral care, to name a few. I also know God gives me what I need rather than what I want. All in all, although it's unfortunate (have I said that already) that I haven't had this sort of experience, I'm stoical about it and well ware everything happens for a reason and it'll all pan out well in the end.

[Of course, famous last words and now there's going to be a run of funerals I can be involved with.]

Communion for all

As much as I may try to have a vision of inclusivity for my future ministry (and current) I am aware that no matter what I do there are some things which will not allow everyone to feel part of an act of worship I lead.

It may be my background, my age, my style, or even the fact I am a woman. I respect there are many factors which may make some feel excluded and I will strive to deal with those I can (sorry, can't do much about the breasts).

So, as much as I may make tongue-in-cheek statements that I will use home brew for communion wine, I really wouldn't. It contains alcohol and that would prevent some members of the congregation from participating in communion, be it for medical reasons, out of principle or an awareness they would be driving after the service and never drive and drive. I, for one, fall into the latter category and could not take alcoholic communion wine if I were going to drive at all. It is the Lord's supper and all should be included, as far as possible.

Further, having alcoholic wine precludes children from receiving communion and they are as much part of the body of Christ as any of the rest of us. While I accept children are not present at most communions, I feel it is important they can take part if they (and/or their parents) wish to. If it is common knowledge the communion drink is non-alcoholic allows all to participate whenever the sacrament is administered.

I'm not sure exactly how I would broach the subject of this in a church which uses alcoholic wine for the sacrament. But I know it is important enough to me that I would have to find a way. A compromise is having both alcoholic and non-alcoholic wine, but this does not help the alcoholic to be part of the sacrament,

and seems, to me at least, to take away from the fact that communion is a symbol of those participating being the body of Christ. By excluding some, are we saying they cannot be part of that body?

Ironing

Spot's shirts state they are non-iron. Non-iron my bottom. So, are you supposed to tumble-dry them to within an inch of their lives and take them out at exactly the right point that they are crease-free but not going to sit there getting rumpled???!!!

Besides, and this is a total bug bear of me is if a man's shirt is not ironed there is not the knife edge seem ironed onto the sleeve. Men's shirts should have this and they often not as shops have convinced us that their shirts do not need ironed. I say again, non-iron my bottom.


It's an attention to detail thing. Like polishing shoes (why does hardly anyone do that anymore?), it shows a wee bit of pride in the things we have and to care for them so they last longer.

So, on that note, I'm off to polish my shoes. And the letterbox too. Better just make sure this pride doesn't come before a fall.

And non-iron. My bottom. (Have I mentioned this before?!)

My refuge and my strength

I was preaching on Sunday. I felt it went well, though still plenty I need to learn, improve on etc. Feedback was very positive, which is reassuring (as it would be a bit bad of me if I wasn't) and humbling - exceptionally humbling.

I do feel I am projecting a much more confident self, in leading worship and in the various other aspects of ministry I have been involved in so far this placement. Yet, in other areas I can feel myself withdrawing into myself. Yes, the shy kid who could take to the stage is still here.

I'm not sure if this is a bad or good thing. Is it bad I can "turn it on" when necessary? If so, am I playing a part? I hope not and sincerely do not think it's the case. What I say and do are part of me and part of the call I have. It's tough getting the balance right, especially when I feel I am surrounded by confident people, much confident and competent than I am.

Yet this is who I am. The basic personality of who I am, without the rough edges (am I know there are quite a few) is shy. And for some reason, which I am still trying to figure out, is part of the reason I am called to minister. I suppose it does make me rely on him for confidence when I do any ministry task, in ways I just couldn't if I wasn't who I was. That's it, I must, I do rely on God and that is best summed up in Psalm 71.

Your heart will be also

No matter how tight things get financially, people will always find a wee bit for the things they enjoy. Be it foreign holidays, flashy cars, the occasional pint or a trip to the cinema, they will find the money somehow. It's the thing which breaks the monotony and the tedium. It, to a certain extent, defines who they are and breaks them away from the same old, same old.

When things are tight, the scope for spending on fripperies decreases. There may be some things which can no longer be afforded, as the belt is tightened, but some things will remain and will not be compromised on. The change in circumstances may even be seen as an opportunity to redress the balance in time over spending or re-examine where money it spent and that is it going to the best use. Where it is spent (beyond the basic keeping fed, clothed, warm and sheltered), I believe, in many ways shows where the heart is.

So, how much more does this apply to churches. If they spend lots of money shoring up the old, out-of-date and not fit for purpose buildings they have, what does that say about their priorities? If they bemoan the lack of children and young people using and attending church, but do not invest in those who do come, what does that say about a church? When the national living wage is currently around £7.60, but churches pay their staff minimum wage (or not much more), what does that say about the church?

I believe where and how the church, locally and nationally, spends its money says a lot about its priorities. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:21.