A stop in Crieff

Yesterday, Spot and I were out for a hurl (in the car - it was a wee bit too windy for the bike). While wandering around Crieff, looking for somewhere for lunch, we bumped into a fellow candidate and his wife.

In conversation, Shaun asked were I was last month. I was a bit puzzled, I didn't know of anything I should have been at that we would have met at. He was referring to the first probationers' conference. He seemed quite surprised I wasn't on probation and still have a year of my BD to do. Of the candidates in our training group, quite a few won't be starting probation till next year, so I do wonder why me? Not going to over analyse this, except to say I'm looking at it in a positive light.

(In other news, it did sort of confirm my rational why I would be extremely unlikely to take up the 'minister discount rate' for Crieff Hydro. If I want to get away from it all, I want to do so - going where all the ministers and their spouses goes would not be 'getting away from it all' for me. Ministers being ministers, shop would be talked about too much.)

Back from Retreat

Did I get something out of retreat? Yes, rather a lot, thanks. Did I feel I'd had time to connect with God and ensure my spiritual life was fed? No.

When a group of people who know and wish to support each other are sent away together, but most have not seen each other since August, they want to catch up with one another. So time for 'silent reflection' becomes time for talking. Though, the leader of the 'retreat' did suggest we did things in this time we normally couldn't do, so arguably this fitted the bill.

I think the concept of retreat can be a good thing. From what I saw and talked about I think I am lucky I am comfortable just being, rather than having to always do. But I'd much rather do that on my own, in a space I am comfortable with. The 2 days away just didn't work for me, but watching a film about a group of Carthusian Monks (a silent order) was just painful. For 2 hours and 44 minutes. Time in my life I'll never get back. There was no rational given for the showing and it clearly made everyone feel uncomfortable. At one point I did up and leave, as I felt myself falling asleep and needed fresh air. I did return and wonder why I bothered, as I did drop off, only waking up with a snore! 10:15 is late for some of us, myself included. The excitement of the film didn't help!

So, I've been and ticked the box. As the these retreats are forming part of the conference cycle, all I am saying is I am glad my cycle is completed in August. Unlike some in the academic year above me, I will not be going next year, unless I have to.

Going away

Today, I am heading for a retreat. It's enforced, as it's now part of the training program for ministry training.

I am quite cynical about imposed retreats (what, just retreats, I hear you cry!), as what would work for me may be completely different to what would work for others. That said, I understand having some sort of retreatful discipline is good for everyone, so I want to go with an open mind. Having seen the timetable, I am struggling - a talk on the Oxford Movement anyone? - being just one example.

So, as I head off I hope the drive there will clear my head and while I am away I will be refreshed.

Enforced getting away from it all

As part of my training I was to have attended 6 conferences (usually one around Easter and another at the end of August), but the program has been changed to 3 conferences in August and a yearly 48 hour retreat.

Now, I am a little bit of a cynic when it comes to organised, imposed retreating. There's a wee bit of me thinks as soon as it has to happen, perhaps the less retreatful it may be. Besides, if I want to retreat, I want to fornicate off on my own, at my own pace and in my own time. There are very, very few people I would like to be with when I am having a bit of me with God time - most of my peers included (and no offence is intended, but we'd all start talking uni and placements, which isn't exactly a retreat, if you ask me!).

I can understand why Ministries Council want to make us retreat. It can be all too easy for us to focus on doing ministry and forget to focus on our relationship with God. With just being with God. From that relationship, we can do all the stuff we're called to (yes, even Session meetings!). By Ministries council sending us on retreat I think they are hoping we will get into a routine of retreat and spending time with God now, which will pay off in time. So, I can appreciate their concern in our welfare now and in the future. I'd still rather DIY, though!

So when I received an email from 121 yesterday detailing where I'd be going and with whom I was actually a happy bunny. I've been where we're going earlier this year and thoroughly enjoyed it. It's a beautiful location, with lovely walks and scenery. Plenty for me to 'get away from it all'. The group look like a good mix, from all the unis. Looks like I might enjoy this after all!