I'm not going to lie, the last year of academic study was tough. Actually, it wasn't so much the academic study, as the other stuff I'd taken on (too much), the stuff I needed to do on the back of an annual review and the niggling feeling that I was going to be kicked out of ministry training. Long story short, it was more about my fears and doubts that anything else. (Why is hindsight always 20:20?)
Now, I look around and I can't believe the change. I am able to be the minister I am called to be, which (and she'd completely deny it) is in no small part down to The Boss. It's funny, I don't think she realises the impact she has had on me and many others, just by being the person she is.
I am so lucky and blessed to be serving my probation at Airside Kirk. The combination of minister and congregation mean I am exactly where I need to be at this stage in my journey. The funny thing is, had I had an 'easy' ride to beginning training, I could never have gone there for it. God really does have a plan, and he's taking me alone for the ride. These days, rather than the ride being daunting, it's fun and exciting and exhilarating (yes, and sometimes a little terrifying, but I trust God and the path I'm on).
And it's not like I'm getting an easy ride or little to do or not being 'properly' supervised. The Boss is on the ball about this and I (for the first time in training) actually look forward to our weekly meetings. Yes, those meetings where I reflect on what I've done or see or read or witnessed and where I am asked to reflect some more - those meetings I enjoy, because I trust and respect The Boss, so can be open when things have been a struggle or gone wrong, not because I want to mope or because I think I'll get tea and sympathy, but because I know she wants to support me the best way she can to be the best minister I can be.
The thing is, and it won't be for 7 months yet, but I will be leaving Airside and going into the big bad world. And I will miss them, even those I get on with less than others. I will especially miss The Boss, because she's a good guy and we have a good working relationship, which I wonder how it will pan out once I'm gone.
Anyway, enough of the navel gazing, off to eat some pancakes and get ready for this evening's meeting.
I love my job.