What will I be like next year?

At the beginning of the month, the National Guild convener, vice-convener and international delegates were worshipping at Airside. Laura and I shared worship, which had a World church theme.

The service was very well received by the guests, the congregation and my support group. There was a lot of effort had gone into it, which had paid dividends. (I was even complemented for doing my talk without notes...).

But that was a few weeks ago, and probation (and life) is moving along. The other day, I was at an event where the National Guild vice-convener was also present. We got chatting and she was still waxing lyrical (where does that phrase come from?) about the service. In the conversation, she asked where I was heading once I finished probation. My reply was, no idea, as it's almost a year till I finish. She was totally taken aback by that - thinking I was at the end, not the beginning of my probation. Her reaction? "If that's what you're like at the beginning of probation, what are you going to be like in a year's time?."

A couple of people I've mentioned this to have been impressed and pleased for me, and I know it is a huge compliment. Yet, it actually scares me. Have I peaked too soon? Can I maintain this 'level'? How do I continue to improve and not flatline? Etc, etc, etc.

I know I've always said I want to be the best minister I can be, but God, I just want to be an ordinary minister. Why am I getting the feeling that isn't your plan for me?