God's got our backs

Candidate conferences are funny beasts. Or maybe it's just me. The OLMs are there just for the weekend, but the social night and Moderator's visit occurs once they have left. Okay, so maybe I bias, but it does sort of give out the signal to them that they aren't as valued as the full-timers. And, that signal can also affect the full-timers attitude to the OLMs. But here is perhaps the best place to have that conversation.

The other odd thing about conference is it's a year since most of the candidates have seen most of their colleagues. That's why free time is so important - as are breaks and meals. It was great this year that all had free time together. That said, it takes effort to get to know others, and if people don't want to be social or 'network' (oh, I do like to drop the occasional buzz-word) they can. I also look at the free-time and, having been away from home for the summer, see I could get home a day earlier. But that would not allow me to get to know those I will work with and get support from once I am doing ministry 'for real.'

As usual, the food was very good. Again, I do wonder why there has to be so much food - it is possible to have a 3 course meal 3 times a day, not including biscuits and fruit which is available during coffee breaks. The staff are lovely too - warm, friendly and hospitable. It makes a real difference to be looked after.

Looking at the actual content of the conference. It definitely works better people being in their year streams. The smaller groups allow for more conversation and interaction to take place. I remember being very intimidated by the large group as a newbie - they all looked so sorted and confident. They also seemed to ask relevant and interesting questions, while I didn't feel I had the knowledge to do so. Being with their peers for most of the conference must make this easier, but only they would be able to say.

My year group were looking at mission. With just under half on probation, this was the right time to do this. The main thing I took from my year group sessions was most of us were involved in mission, as were the churches we were from and/or with which we had been on placement. There was also a strong emphasis in the sessions that the minister cannot do it all. I am aware of that, though also know it can be easier (to a certain extent) to not get others onboard. Personally, I think that's pain daft and belittles the ministry others within a congregation are called to. We are the body of Christ and all have our gifts and skills.

Today I was at lunch in my home church and was asked how I was getting on. I mentioned I was at conference and, as I talked about it, realised I brought up the HIV/AIDS program talk a couple of times. I don't know why that especially stood out for me, but the speaker was very engaging, passionate and knowledgeable on her subject area. It's important the church is involved in reaching out those in the margins, as many with HIV/AIDS are. Perhaps someone's trying to tell me something.

The down side with conference is the disruption it has on my sleep pattern. I want to catch up with people, share experiences and have a laugh (on Sunday night I'm glad I was in the group playing pictionary, rather than having a deep theological conversation). Before I know it, it's after midnight! It's only once a year, though, so not too bad.

The chaplain was warm, friendly and very approachable - ideal attributes for that role. I did slightly struggle with the worship, though, as I felt the children's stories were exactly that - for children. The first one was great and set a good tone, but after that they were a little wearing. Having said that, just because it didn't speak to me, does not mean it did not speak to others. I do feel the chaplain's interation with the candidates at meals, breaks etc is more important than their worship style.

The closing communion was not as bad as I expected. I still struggle with the 'we must go round in a circle and hug everyone at conference' sharing the peace which occurs. Though I am not touchy-feely, I recognise others are, but there can be a bit of a herd mentality and places others (especially newbies) in an awkward position. The same could be said of the blessing of us third years. Firstly, I do not believe the group should be singled out - the entire groups is called to ministry. I remember that actually making me feel quite inadequate at my first conference - perhaps the new people need a blessing for the start of the process more than at the end?

When the chaplain invited the other year groups to gather around us I felt my blood pressure going up. I don't want someone I don't really know feeling they have to do this. I also recall this happening at my first conference and feeling very awkward as I did not know those I was supporting. It would be interesting to find out how the newbies this year felt about it.

Over all, the conference was enjoyable. Mainly for being able to build up relationships with colleagues and foster friendships. After all, we are all in it together and we will sustain each other in the years ahead. God has all our backs.