It's a confidence thing

I had my supervision the other day and a couple of things which came out of it was regarding my visit to the school last week and my children's address on Sunday past. He'd been in the school and was asking the teacher for feedback.

Generally, it was okay. Once I got into my stride, I was seen to be comfortable and confident with the children. I responded well to them and had a good rapport with them. The teacher did think I would do something a bit different from what she would have done. That's reasonable enough, but I wasn't sure at all about the line which I should take – it's not like this is a church and I was all too aware I needed to find a good balance in what I said. Also, I just followed her pattern as I thought that was what was required. Next time, I'll prepare my own material and run with that. That's definitely a confidence thing, but it was only the second time I've been in school since I was a pupil. Oh, and I made the cardinal mistake of turning to look at the powerpoint. Given the position of the IT equipment in the class, it wasn't easy to do anything else if I wanted to see what was on the screen, but I maybe looked too long.

As for my children's address, well, the feedback for that wasn't exactly favourable. Bottom line was I allowed a child to talk too much and it didn't flow well. Funny, other feedback I received, though mixed, did not agree with that. At the time I was doing the address, the child who was talking gave me a gift, which I should have had the confidence to run with. That way my including them wouldn't have looked like a bit of a red herring. Definitely need to work on this confidence thing - in my own abilities as well as anything else. Strange, but almost anywhere but Eagleside I would have done that. I think it's knowing I am being critiqued while there and that I have to do the children's address in a position I am completely uncomfortable with.

Just before I had to leave, my supervisor told me that children's addresses were definitely something I will need to work on. Fair enough, as he hasn't got anything to work with except what he's seen. He also said I needed experience with children, even though I have told him I was a young church leader for 10+ years and a youth club leader for 8+ years. Also, this in the context of giving me feedback that I engage well with children and have a good rapport with them. Err, that doesn't make sense to me. That did annoy me, as the development point seems to contradict, to a certain extent, feedback I receive from my supervisor.

The good thing is my next placement has a lot of children and, having seen my future supervisor in action, I can learn a lot there about how to get this nailed. It's really important to me that I get the children engaged in worship and feeling that they are important and valued by the church community. Getting the children's addresses right forms an important part of that.