It's not long until my last day at work. I have, quite deliberately, kept back a large chunk of leave so I don't have to work until the wire on 31 March.
Everyday, though, I am finding it harder and harder to be someone I am not. I am a people person who cares deeply about those around me - even those who don't like me. It's hard trying to get the work done well, so my colleagues don't have to fix my mistakes. It's also so those who dislike me don't get ammunition to shot me with even once I have left.
Just before I leave, I am going to "out" myself as a trainee minister. There are some who will not be up nor down about it. There are some who will be very positive about it (and perhaps may have already put two and two together). There are some, though, who will think it's the most preposterous thing they've heard. If they read the notice with a mouthful of coffee, I think their PC screen may wear it.
For me, it will be a release. I am looking forward to being able to tell people who I am. To be who I am. Called and loved by God, just as they are if they would only let him in. Maybe even those who I think would be negative about this remember things I have done - when I have spoken to the outcast from the group, for example - and realise I was doing those things to show God's love to those others reject.
I was so pleased to get your email today 'outing' the real you.
ReplyDeleteI don't think any coffee hit the screens but some jaws dropped and there was some nervous laughter. As for me I look forward to keeping in touch.
Sue
(ex disillusioned Buddhist ordinand)