Study options

On Monday, I had a long chat with the person from ministries support who is responsible for ministry candidates studying at Edinburgh. She went over the various options open to me, being:

• Hope that a place becomes available in Edinburgh through clearing in the autumn.
• Defer for a year and apply to Edinburgh at the earliest opportunity. You would graduate in 2014. You would become part of the conference programme and placement scheme when you begin at University in 2011.
• Do your first year over two years through distance learning at Aberdeen and ensure that Edinburgh will give you credit for this when you apply again, looking to graduate in 2014. You would be able to continue working for the two years that you did this. You would become part of the conference programme in 2011 and placement scheme in 2012 (since you would still be working it would be better to postpone your first placement till then). The advantage of this is that it doesn’t involve deferring.

Apparently, I am not the only one in this position (and I suspect it may get worse as my assessment conference was the first this year). That's slightly reassuring, yet frustrating for all at the same time!

I don't really fancy studying and working full-time for two years. I also know Edinburgh can be a bit funny about accepting credits from other universities. They shouldn't be, but are. So, at the moment, I'm looking at waiting to see what spaces are available at Edinburgh for clearing. If I can't get one then, I'm looking to defer. Okay, so I won't be studying until next year, but the end graduating date is the same. I'm sure if that does happen, the next year will fly by.

A bit of me knows it's all meant. If I am to wait a year before studying, I can use that time to build up my savings a bit. I am not on a huge wage (though I do think I get very well paid for what I do), but I am the main breadwinner. Also, perhaps if I'm to wait, it is all part of God's path for me. Maybe there is a specific charge he needs me for which becomes vacant (or is created!) as I finish training, but only if I wait a year? Given how things have been going so far, I wouldn't be in the slightest surprised.

Of course, if a long lost Uncle's will left me his estate and living in Glasgow became an option, then off to Glasgow uni I would go. Somehow, I don't see that happening!

What a nice man!

As I mentioned here, my assessor passed me the details of a member of the ministries support team. I suppose a way to describe him is a minister to ministers.

He's a hard guy to get in touch with; it's the nature of his job. I finally spoke to him on Monday and arranged a meeting this afternoon. It was a good open, friendly and productive chat. It was also a bit challenging, but in a supportive and non-judgemental way.

My assessor hadn't told him anything about me, except I am currently an enquirer. He didn't even know which type of ministry I feel called to. So, a clean slate for me.

I told him of the healing service and my reaction to it, as the conversation I had later with my assessor regarding it was the trigger for our meeting. I also spoke of the bad reaction I had back at my last placement (see here).

I'm fairly sure I know the triggers for both instances. With the healing service, my personal experience with someone close to me suffering from depression. With the other meeting, the effects of bullying when younger.

I also explained I feel these experiences are all mirrors being held up before me. That God is holding up those mirror to allow me to really know myself and, through that knowledge, minister for Him.

He thought that was a really good way of looking at it (no pun intended there). He also told me many people in the enquiry process think the kirk is looking for full-formed minsters etc with total self-awareness and no growth necessary. I didn't think that for a minute, but it is reassuring to actually be told that.

He made a few suggestions for dealing with situations, such as the classic counting to ten before speaking, and reminded me there is often more than we see, both in situations and our reaction to them. The main tool I need to use for this journey is my journal. I need to write, read, reflect and learn through its use more.

Apparently he can recommend counselling and arrange it if he feels the person he's talking to needs it. He didn't feel I did. It's funny, there's a time when I would have baulked at the thought of counselling. Now, if I needed to do it in order to follow God's calling, I would do it if recommended.

At the end of meeting he told me if I needed any advice or to talk again just to get in touch with him. What a lovely man!

And, I have so much to learn and growth to do. Only by God's grace can I.