Children in church

At a meeting the other day, the issue of children (or lack of) in church was brought up. Comments made were along the lines of such-and such a church has their Sunday School as a Wednesday after-school club. (Yes, I too thought that sounded wrong. Sunday School - every Wednesday at 4pm!). Apparently it suits the children and parents better than the more traditional time of during the Sunday service at 11am.

At the end of the meeting, I was discussing this matter with a couple of people I was sitting with. I brought up my concerns about the children being separated from the adults to this extent. I wondered how the children would be brought into the church family - like any family it needs a wide range of ages and experiences. I was told the problem with churches is members expect children to sit and be quiet. I think I can see their problem.

Now, don't get me wrong, having after-school clubs to lead children into a relationship with God is a good thing. I am not knocking that for a second. But, where it's happening because churches rigidly stick to service at 11am on Sunday mornings, where earlier may be better for all or, worse, members of congregations only like having children in church if they sit there and be quiet, then we have a problem.

From my own (admittedly limited) experience, churches where children are made welcome and are regarded as much part of the current church as the 97 year old (usually by the 97 year old), the children want to be there. They bring their friends. Children who want to find out about God bring their parents and their parents become members and the church grows.

I don't know what those type of churches do right. They don't know themselves. I think it's welcoming all - young and old. Showing God's love in action. Teaching about God's love and grace.

The churches I know of for which lack of children and young people is an issue and regarded as an issue talk about children being their future. I know, in my younger days that annoyed me. My own home church didn't have that attitude, but I heard it time and time again. Nothing has changed. It puts enormous pressure on children and they have enough as it is. Besides, they are NOT the churches future. They are the churches present. They may become the church in the future. Who knows? Only God. It's his church and he wants a church family where all are welcome and loved to share community, fellowship and worship together. Old and young. Rich and poor. That's the model we should be striving for.

I know there are no easy solutions. There never has been and never will be. I do firmly believe people begin attend a church which they see as being for them. If it excludes children to a Wednesday afternoon, they won't get young families attending Sunday worship. If it only likes children who sit very quiet and don't make a noise (do any children do that - I mean really), they will not get young families.

This is where leadership comes in. Yes, the minister (oh, I'm putting myself under pressure here!). In any organisation, the dynamic can change with a change of leadership and the feel of an organisation comes from the leadership. And so it is with the church. Does the minister expect children to be like mice? Does the minister engage with the children and their parents? Does the minister preach and lead worship to show how important making a church family is to God? I suspect when they do, children will come. Their parents will feel comfortable going. When the children become teenagers, with all the pressure they are under, they will not drift away.

I pray I can be this type of minister. Guided by the holy spirit to create a church family which reflects all in the parish I eventually serve. Oh, I do like to set myself challenges. Or, should I say God does?