I had my supervision the other day and a couple of things which came out of it was regarding my visit to the school last week and my children's address on Sunday past. He'd been in the school and was asking the teacher for feedback.
Generally, it was okay. Once I got into my stride, I was seen to be comfortable and confident with the children. I responded well to them and had a good rapport with them. The teacher did think I would do something a bit different from what she would have done. That's reasonable enough, but I wasn't sure at all about the line which I should take – it's not like this is a church and I was all too aware I needed to find a good balance in what I said. Also, I just followed her pattern as I thought that was what was required. Next time, I'll prepare my own material and run with that. That's definitely a confidence thing, but it was only the second time I've been in school since I was a pupil. Oh, and I made the cardinal mistake of turning to look at the powerpoint. Given the position of the IT equipment in the class, it wasn't easy to do anything else if I wanted to see what was on the screen, but I maybe looked too long.
As for my children's address, well, the feedback for that wasn't exactly favourable. Bottom line was I allowed a child to talk too much and it didn't flow well. Funny, other feedback I received, though mixed, did not agree with that. At the time I was doing the address, the child who was talking gave me a gift, which I should have had the confidence to run with. That way my including them wouldn't have looked like a bit of a red herring. Definitely need to work on this confidence thing - in my own abilities as well as anything else. Strange, but almost anywhere but Eagleside I would have done that. I think it's knowing I am being critiqued while there and that I have to do the children's address in a position I am completely uncomfortable with.
Just before I had to leave, my supervisor told me that children's addresses were definitely something I will need to work on. Fair enough, as he hasn't got anything to work with except what he's seen. He also said I needed experience with children, even though I have told him I was a young church leader for 10+ years and a youth club leader for 8+ years. Also, this in the context of giving me feedback that I engage well with children and have a good rapport with them. Err, that doesn't make sense to me. That did annoy me, as the development point seems to contradict, to a certain extent, feedback I receive from my supervisor.
The good thing is my next placement has a lot of children and, having seen my future supervisor in action, I can learn a lot there about how to get this nailed. It's really important to me that I get the children engaged in worship and feeling that they are important and valued by the church community. Getting the children's addresses right forms an important part of that.
Friday, 30 March 2012
Tuesday, 27 March 2012
One more step
I led the last of the full services I am to lead during this placement yesterday. And I think it went well (I even spotted someone who usually never sings joining in for one of the hymns!). Feedback was very encouraging, though (and this is going to sound negative), it would be good if there were people who would criticise it. I'm sure I'll get that feedback in due course and need to focus on the positives, as I tend to sometimes get bogged down in the negatives, resulting in a focus on them so the good things maybe don't get built up.
The children's address seemed to go well. I am definitely building up a relationship with the children, though some are still quite shy. I feel I brought the theme broadly onto their level – it was about God's new covenant so I talked about promises. I think I could have done with talking a little about promises changing, but I don't want to bore the children. One child did go a bit off topic, but that's fine – I've no fixed notions of where the address should go, just roughly a start and finish, what happens in between depends as much on where the children take it. Didn't get much feedback for this. One person told me “you shouldn't let the children speak”. Another complemented me on how I am able to relate to the children, they seem comfortable talking to me and I seem to speak on their level. I must admit I pretty much disregarded the former comment.
The service was a smidge more traditional than usual. That was a combination of hymns (where I did slip a couple of my favourites in, but what's the point of being a minister if you can't choose the hymns you like occasionally? Now I will remove my tongue from my cheek.), me power dressing, no powerpoint (except the hymns) and a prayer of confession (usually there's just opening and intercession prayers). I think if services are more 'modern', it's useful to occasionally have a traditional service. It's a change from the norm, apart from anything.
The sermon went generally well. I think I may have seemed to be slightly repeating myself and I'm undecided if that would be seen as emphasis or me not really knowing what I was saying. I also was a bit challenging, but I hope, encouraging too. I'm not sure if I had that much tonal variation in my voice. It's hard to tell, as I hear more than others may do. I was consciously trying to do this, so I hope I managed.
Overall, good. Definitely room for improvement, but if I stop improving and become complacent (at any stage in ministry), I think it would be time to re-examine what I am doing.
The children's address seemed to go well. I am definitely building up a relationship with the children, though some are still quite shy. I feel I brought the theme broadly onto their level – it was about God's new covenant so I talked about promises. I think I could have done with talking a little about promises changing, but I don't want to bore the children. One child did go a bit off topic, but that's fine – I've no fixed notions of where the address should go, just roughly a start and finish, what happens in between depends as much on where the children take it. Didn't get much feedback for this. One person told me “you shouldn't let the children speak”. Another complemented me on how I am able to relate to the children, they seem comfortable talking to me and I seem to speak on their level. I must admit I pretty much disregarded the former comment.
The service was a smidge more traditional than usual. That was a combination of hymns (where I did slip a couple of my favourites in, but what's the point of being a minister if you can't choose the hymns you like occasionally? Now I will remove my tongue from my cheek.), me power dressing, no powerpoint (except the hymns) and a prayer of confession (usually there's just opening and intercession prayers). I think if services are more 'modern', it's useful to occasionally have a traditional service. It's a change from the norm, apart from anything.
The sermon went generally well. I think I may have seemed to be slightly repeating myself and I'm undecided if that would be seen as emphasis or me not really knowing what I was saying. I also was a bit challenging, but I hope, encouraging too. I'm not sure if I had that much tonal variation in my voice. It's hard to tell, as I hear more than others may do. I was consciously trying to do this, so I hope I managed.
Overall, good. Definitely room for improvement, but if I stop improving and become complacent (at any stage in ministry), I think it would be time to re-examine what I am doing.
Monday, 26 March 2012
Being a teacher for the morning
I was back in School during the week. This was a follow-up from the previous week, bu this time I led the lesson (to a certain extent) while the teacher gave a little assistance (mainly involving telling me the names of the children).
Generally, I felt it went well. The theme was one I know well and I am comfortable enough with largish groups of early primary school children (admittedly in a non-school context). I feel I engaged well with the children - one even gave me a thank you card when I was leaving. I wasn't sure how I should handle discipline, as I didn't want to tread on the teacher's toes, but when I realised that it was my lesson, I soon started keeping the children in check for not listening (mainly to their peers, not me, which in itself was interesting). Their questions were very interesting, challenging in a way young children can be (which is really refreshing as they don't feel they should know anything, if that makes sense) and showed a real engagement with the theme of the lesson. All pretty good for someone who was last in a primary school class when at primary school.
It also shows that despite my concerns and fears I expressed at the beginning of the month were unfounded. My supervisor obviously trusts me to go in his place (as I am as much a reflection on Eagleside as Christianity as a whole) and sees the potential I have. Also, yet again shows that often the idea of something is much worse than the actuality. As someone keeps telling me “God's got your back” and the more I do in this ministry training process, the more I see this.
To think, I once wanted to be a teacher. Although I won't be a school teacher, I am still going to be a teacher. Funny how things work out.
Generally, I felt it went well. The theme was one I know well and I am comfortable enough with largish groups of early primary school children (admittedly in a non-school context). I feel I engaged well with the children - one even gave me a thank you card when I was leaving. I wasn't sure how I should handle discipline, as I didn't want to tread on the teacher's toes, but when I realised that it was my lesson, I soon started keeping the children in check for not listening (mainly to their peers, not me, which in itself was interesting). Their questions were very interesting, challenging in a way young children can be (which is really refreshing as they don't feel they should know anything, if that makes sense) and showed a real engagement with the theme of the lesson. All pretty good for someone who was last in a primary school class when at primary school.
It also shows that despite my concerns and fears I expressed at the beginning of the month were unfounded. My supervisor obviously trusts me to go in his place (as I am as much a reflection on Eagleside as Christianity as a whole) and sees the potential I have. Also, yet again shows that often the idea of something is much worse than the actuality. As someone keeps telling me “God's got your back” and the more I do in this ministry training process, the more I see this.
To think, I once wanted to be a teacher. Although I won't be a school teacher, I am still going to be a teacher. Funny how things work out.
Sunday, 25 March 2012
A brief visit
Last night, I was at a ceilidh at my home church. It was the first time I'd been there since I began my placement. Though it was lovely to see many of the people there and, admittedly briefly, catch up with some familiar faces, it just didn't seem as much like home as it once did. And I know that's only right and proper. I will always regard that church as my home church, in every sense of the word home. But, as every child must leave home one way or another, I am also leaving home. Consequently, home doesn't feel the same anymore. I will always be welcomed, affirmed and loved there, no matter where I go in ministry, but like leaving the family home, as I return I go back slightly changed every time. As that change takes place, I grow away from home – away from familiarity, but towards where I need to be. And it was only a ceilidh.
I did receive a few lovely comments, though. A couple of women mentioned how much I was missed. That was a bit heart breaking. Someone mentioned how well I looked and happier (that's true – this ministry thing is, as I expected, challenging, yet I very much feel it's what I should be doing and it gives me energy in a way I didn't think it would, even when draining me!). A group of children who were there ran up to me to get me to dance. They haven't seen me for 6 months and, of all the adults there (and it was a mixed age range), they asked me. Must have made a good impression, then.
I hope God will be with them as I no longer am. I know he is and hope they know that too.
I did receive a few lovely comments, though. A couple of women mentioned how much I was missed. That was a bit heart breaking. Someone mentioned how well I looked and happier (that's true – this ministry thing is, as I expected, challenging, yet I very much feel it's what I should be doing and it gives me energy in a way I didn't think it would, even when draining me!). A group of children who were there ran up to me to get me to dance. They haven't seen me for 6 months and, of all the adults there (and it was a mixed age range), they asked me. Must have made a good impression, then.
I hope God will be with them as I no longer am. I know he is and hope they know that too.
Sunday, 18 March 2012
Preparing the ground for sowing
As part of my regular personal devotional time, I have been reading through Mark's gospel. Today, I was reading Mark 4:1-9 – the parable of the sower.
As someone training for ministry, I find this parable so reassuring, yet so daunting at the same time. Reassuring as it shows that it isn't all down to me. No matter how much I try to follow Christ, to preach and teach as God calls me to, to show God's love in all I say and do to all those I may minister to, people will reject the good news of the gospel. Or they will take it to heart, but as soon as something serious happens in their lives, they will abandon their new found faith. I am merely the sower and it depends on the ground the message falls on whether the message will go on to produce more grain, though some will and it will be very productive. So long as I focus on God in all I do, then the message I give will be productive one way or the other for God's kingdom.
It's daunting as it places responsibility on me to prepare the ground well. Having preached on this passage to a rural community last year, I was all too aware of the preparation which goes on before a field is sown. Even though farming is much more mechanised now than it was in Jesus day, preparation is still necessary and important for getting the best crop. So, why hadn't the ground been well prepared before the seed was sown? Just seems crazy to go to all the effort to save seed from last year's crop them sow it without preparation. In the context of the message of the gospel, this passage from Mark's gospel seems to be getting to that. So, it's important that I prepare the ground well. I may be walking with people for whom the church is a distant organisation, they don't really think that God is relevant in their lives. As I walk with them, I hope I am preparing the ground well rather than making it rocky or full of weeds, so if I or someone else eventuality sows the gospel, it has a chance to grow and be productive. Unfortunately, I know of many people who have had bad experiences of church and that has made them completely unreceptive to God's love and good news for them. I pray I never do that.
As someone training for ministry, I find this parable so reassuring, yet so daunting at the same time. Reassuring as it shows that it isn't all down to me. No matter how much I try to follow Christ, to preach and teach as God calls me to, to show God's love in all I say and do to all those I may minister to, people will reject the good news of the gospel. Or they will take it to heart, but as soon as something serious happens in their lives, they will abandon their new found faith. I am merely the sower and it depends on the ground the message falls on whether the message will go on to produce more grain, though some will and it will be very productive. So long as I focus on God in all I do, then the message I give will be productive one way or the other for God's kingdom.
It's daunting as it places responsibility on me to prepare the ground well. Having preached on this passage to a rural community last year, I was all too aware of the preparation which goes on before a field is sown. Even though farming is much more mechanised now than it was in Jesus day, preparation is still necessary and important for getting the best crop. So, why hadn't the ground been well prepared before the seed was sown? Just seems crazy to go to all the effort to save seed from last year's crop them sow it without preparation. In the context of the message of the gospel, this passage from Mark's gospel seems to be getting to that. So, it's important that I prepare the ground well. I may be walking with people for whom the church is a distant organisation, they don't really think that God is relevant in their lives. As I walk with them, I hope I am preparing the ground well rather than making it rocky or full of weeds, so if I or someone else eventuality sows the gospel, it has a chance to grow and be productive. Unfortunately, I know of many people who have had bad experiences of church and that has made them completely unreceptive to God's love and good news for them. I pray I never do that.
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