Thursday 8 October 2009

Thoughts, reflections and questions

I've realised I've been a little neglectful of my blog of late. It's not that I've not been up to much nor have little to say; I've been thinking and talking more than writing and reflecting.

Sunday past, like many churches, was my placement's Harvest Festival. They have a traditional one where the congregation bring a variety food items for later distribution to the sick and needy in the parish. This was driven by the congregation who wanted the traditional harvest back. The only "flaw" I came across with this plan was my assessor's comment she makes up the distribution list, as if she doesn't do it it wouldn't get done. From what I have seen and encountered in my placement I'm not sure if that is necessarily the case. Besides, the way I see it is if the congregation want to have a traditional harvest they can be responsible for drawing up the list. Ministers have enough to do.

What a generous congregation my placement seems to be. The variety and quantity of donations was amazing. Between services I helped my assessor receive donations and I also accepted the children's gifts they brought in during the opening hymn. I really enjoyed this - engaging with young and old and, as a representative of the church, accepting their gifts to God.

After the service was a soup lunch. This was a great bit of fellowship and I had the opportunity to chat to someone I hadn't had to before. It's not that I hadn't spoken to them before, but we really talked, it wasn't just an exchange of pleasantries. I was even invited to the Panto (oh no I wasn't; oh yes I was), but unfortunately I can't be there.

On Monday I met with my assessor for our regular meeting. We discussed the service at the sheltered housing complex and the funeral visit. I asked about her not offering to pray with the bereaved and she confirmed my thoughts. During the visit it was clear the deceased had the church connection. She was taught during her probation not to offer prayers unless there is a strong church connection with the bereaved, not just the deceased. I can got with that. It save the awkward situation of being rebuffed and shows you have acknowledged the bereaved beliefs, if that makes sense.

One thing that my assessor discussed during our meeting was issues with her car. Now, this was obviously something troubling her, but it went on a little longer than perhaps necessary. I'm not sure, but a part of me gets the impression, with reflection, she may have been doing it on purpose. Perhaps I'm reading too much into it, but it did get me thinking, What if, in ministry, I need to meet with someone about a particular matter. During the initial pleasantries the person tells me about something else troubling them. They may not even put it like that, but it becomes apparent. I need to deal with the first issue without running roughshod over them. How do I do this?

I've been trying to come up with scenarios, but I just go round in circles. My hubbie thinks I'm aware of the soft skills I need for ministry, but I need to be better or learn the hard time management skills I'll need to be effective. As I said to him, it's a very fine line to walk, as I was to be approachable while still dealing with what needs to be dealt with. I must remember to ask my assessor about this at out next meeting.

I did go over and discuss important issues during the meeting, it's just it could have been ½ hour quicker. Never mind, it's all part of the learning curve.

My assessor has asked me to do the post-funeral visit of the bereaved I attended the funeral visit for. I am happy to be asked. It's an important and privileged position to be in, but I must admit I did have a wee panic to myself when she asked and I'm sure I'll be wetting myself on the night I do it. But, by God's grace I know I will have the words I need at the time I need them

3 comments:

  1. Sounds like you've been busy and getting a lot out of this placement.
    Just a thought on the 'car conversation'. With one of my supervisors, our meetings did cover the business in hand but generally lasted twice as long as they 'needed to' because we chatted about all sorts of other stuff - from car trouble to family to deep and meaningful theology. Often, I think, ministers don't often get the opportunity for simply having a blether, especially with someone who is, in a real sense, a colleague and who understands some of the responsibilities and frustrations. So also consider that it may just have been what it was, a chance to grump about a troublesome car.

    Hope things continue to go well.

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  2. Hi John

    Yes, things do seem to be going well, thanks. I did think I was maybe reading too much into our chat(s). Someone else having a similar experience is re-assuring.

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  3. Ministers are the biggest blethers going:)Just wait until you get one who is a football fan (I can't stand football - it's on a par with viewing someone's holiday snaps) as I did - our meetings seemed interminable, but I looked on it as teaching me patience and humility!

    I'm glad your placement is going so well and you've had such variety. Go with the flow and enjoy!

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