So, yesterday was my first real day off for 3 weeks. Yes, for the first 5 days of being in Malawi, I was not on probation, lets face it, with the best will in the world I was being assessed and watched by those from Airside with whom I was travelling. And, for the 2 weeks we were out there, there was no rest for the wicked!
It being a pretty rubbish day, weather wise, Spot and I decided to head westish. I dropped a friend a text before we left, to see if they'd be up for a visit - and they were. It was great to see them - and their children. It was a joy to spend time with them, catching up on news and seeing how the wee ones are growing and developing (and how good the oldest is with his wee sister - and jigsaws for that matter).
As the wee boy was getting ready for bed, we said goodnight. He wanted us to stay over, so we could have breakfast and go to church together. Sorry dude, I work on a Sunday - I'm a minister. This is the second time I have tried to convince him this is what I do, though he seemed a little more open to the idea than the last time I (and his Mum) tried to explain this to him. So, how do I convince an under 4 year old what I do without turning up to see him in a clerical collar? As far as he's concerned, I am the person who talks about trains and Thomas and motorbikes and Peter Rabbit and helps build jigsaw puzzles with him. But, maybe that's no bad thing!
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Sunday, 20 July 2014
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Children in church
At a meeting the other day, the issue of children (or lack of) in church was brought up. Comments made were along the lines of such-and such a church has their Sunday School as a Wednesday after-school club. (Yes, I too thought that sounded wrong. Sunday School - every Wednesday at 4pm!). Apparently it suits the children and parents better than the more traditional time of during the Sunday service at 11am.
At the end of the meeting, I was discussing this matter with a couple of people I was sitting with. I brought up my concerns about the children being separated from the adults to this extent. I wondered how the children would be brought into the church family - like any family it needs a wide range of ages and experiences. I was told the problem with churches is members expect children to sit and be quiet. I think I can see their problem.
Now, don't get me wrong, having after-school clubs to lead children into a relationship with God is a good thing. I am not knocking that for a second. But, where it's happening because churches rigidly stick to service at 11am on Sunday mornings, where earlier may be better for all or, worse, members of congregations only like having children in church if they sit there and be quiet, then we have a problem.
From my own (admittedly limited) experience, churches where children are made welcome and are regarded as much part of the current church as the 97 year old (usually by the 97 year old), the children want to be there. They bring their friends. Children who want to find out about God bring their parents and their parents become members and the church grows.
I don't know what those type of churches do right. They don't know themselves. I think it's welcoming all - young and old. Showing God's love in action. Teaching about God's love and grace.
The churches I know of for which lack of children and young people is an issue and regarded as an issue talk about children being their future. I know, in my younger days that annoyed me. My own home church didn't have that attitude, but I heard it time and time again. Nothing has changed. It puts enormous pressure on children and they have enough as it is. Besides, they are NOT the churches future. They are the churches present. They may become the church in the future. Who knows? Only God. It's his church and he wants a church family where all are welcome and loved to share community, fellowship and worship together. Old and young. Rich and poor. That's the model we should be striving for.
I know there are no easy solutions. There never has been and never will be. I do firmly believe people begin attend a church which they see as being for them. If it excludes children to a Wednesday afternoon, they won't get young families attending Sunday worship. If it only likes children who sit very quiet and don't make a noise (do any children do that - I mean really), they will not get young families.
This is where leadership comes in. Yes, the minister (oh, I'm putting myself under pressure here!). In any organisation, the dynamic can change with a change of leadership and the feel of an organisation comes from the leadership. And so it is with the church. Does the minister expect children to be like mice? Does the minister engage with the children and their parents? Does the minister preach and lead worship to show how important making a church family is to God? I suspect when they do, children will come. Their parents will feel comfortable going. When the children become teenagers, with all the pressure they are under, they will not drift away.
I pray I can be this type of minister. Guided by the holy spirit to create a church family which reflects all in the parish I eventually serve. Oh, I do like to set myself challenges. Or, should I say God does?
At the end of the meeting, I was discussing this matter with a couple of people I was sitting with. I brought up my concerns about the children being separated from the adults to this extent. I wondered how the children would be brought into the church family - like any family it needs a wide range of ages and experiences. I was told the problem with churches is members expect children to sit and be quiet. I think I can see their problem.
Now, don't get me wrong, having after-school clubs to lead children into a relationship with God is a good thing. I am not knocking that for a second. But, where it's happening because churches rigidly stick to service at 11am on Sunday mornings, where earlier may be better for all or, worse, members of congregations only like having children in church if they sit there and be quiet, then we have a problem.
From my own (admittedly limited) experience, churches where children are made welcome and are regarded as much part of the current church as the 97 year old (usually by the 97 year old), the children want to be there. They bring their friends. Children who want to find out about God bring their parents and their parents become members and the church grows.
I don't know what those type of churches do right. They don't know themselves. I think it's welcoming all - young and old. Showing God's love in action. Teaching about God's love and grace.
The churches I know of for which lack of children and young people is an issue and regarded as an issue talk about children being their future. I know, in my younger days that annoyed me. My own home church didn't have that attitude, but I heard it time and time again. Nothing has changed. It puts enormous pressure on children and they have enough as it is. Besides, they are NOT the churches future. They are the churches present. They may become the church in the future. Who knows? Only God. It's his church and he wants a church family where all are welcome and loved to share community, fellowship and worship together. Old and young. Rich and poor. That's the model we should be striving for.
I know there are no easy solutions. There never has been and never will be. I do firmly believe people begin attend a church which they see as being for them. If it excludes children to a Wednesday afternoon, they won't get young families attending Sunday worship. If it only likes children who sit very quiet and don't make a noise (do any children do that - I mean really), they will not get young families.
This is where leadership comes in. Yes, the minister (oh, I'm putting myself under pressure here!). In any organisation, the dynamic can change with a change of leadership and the feel of an organisation comes from the leadership. And so it is with the church. Does the minister expect children to be like mice? Does the minister engage with the children and their parents? Does the minister preach and lead worship to show how important making a church family is to God? I suspect when they do, children will come. Their parents will feel comfortable going. When the children become teenagers, with all the pressure they are under, they will not drift away.
I pray I can be this type of minister. Guided by the holy spirit to create a church family which reflects all in the parish I eventually serve. Oh, I do like to set myself challenges. Or, should I say God does?
Saturday, 28 May 2011
The end of an era...
For me at least. Last night was my last youth club at my home church. It still runs until the end of June, but I can't make the rest for a variety of reasons.
It's a shame. I love the kids. I love the church providing this safe place for them to hang out with their friends on Friday night. Before we set this up, there wasn't anything for their age group in the area. There was a slight problem with kids hanging around. They weren't doing harm, but some local residents didn't like it. I could rant, but I won't. Instead, my home church did something about it.
And it's been such a success. This year has been quiet, with an average of 28 children an evening (since setting up, there are other things they can do, but not that many). In past years we reguarly had 45-50 attending.
I have to leave as come September I will be beginning my training. Maybe my placements will have a youth club I'd want to get involved with or, perhaps, I'd appreciate my Friday nights for some R&R. I'll see how things work out.
It'll be odd not doing youth club. It is 8 years since it began and I've been there since the start. Yet, now is the time I must move on and follow the path God has for me.
I pray new leaders will be found. At the moment, after the summer, there won't be enough. If my home church was to give me a gift on my leaving to follow my call, the best one they could give me is the knowledge this outreach and service to the community continues.
And why do I love doing it? The children's trust and honesty. These are a couple of conversations I had yesterday which made me smile, laugh and wonder.
"Mrs Gerbil, you never shout at us. All the other leaders shout at us."
"I don't like shouting. Besides, when I ask you nicely to do something you do, don't you?"
"Yeah"
"Mrs Gerbil, you're like a pretty Susan Boyle. [Pause] Oh, but younger"
"I'm not sure how I should take that, but I'll take it as a compliment. Thank you".
"I did say pretty"
There are few times I have had such backhanded, yet genuinely heartfelt complements. There were other comments they made, to do with that debate. It was summed up like this:
"Is that not like racism?" Then they ran off to do something more interesting.
They children don't know it was my last night. Most of the leaders hadn't realised either. In some ways I feel a little guilty I didn't say bye to the children, but I would have got upset and I don't want to do that. I didn't want to upset the children either.
I pray that maybe, just maybe, some of the seeds I've sown over the years for God will begin to germinate and grow within the children I have encountered through the youth club. I may never know of how they will grow, but that isn't why I did it. I did it as that is part of my call and part of the reason I procrastinated over following my true call for so long.
So, I pray for the children, the leaders and the church and commit them to God's hands.
It's a shame. I love the kids. I love the church providing this safe place for them to hang out with their friends on Friday night. Before we set this up, there wasn't anything for their age group in the area. There was a slight problem with kids hanging around. They weren't doing harm, but some local residents didn't like it. I could rant, but I won't. Instead, my home church did something about it.
And it's been such a success. This year has been quiet, with an average of 28 children an evening (since setting up, there are other things they can do, but not that many). In past years we reguarly had 45-50 attending.
I have to leave as come September I will be beginning my training. Maybe my placements will have a youth club I'd want to get involved with or, perhaps, I'd appreciate my Friday nights for some R&R. I'll see how things work out.
It'll be odd not doing youth club. It is 8 years since it began and I've been there since the start. Yet, now is the time I must move on and follow the path God has for me.
I pray new leaders will be found. At the moment, after the summer, there won't be enough. If my home church was to give me a gift on my leaving to follow my call, the best one they could give me is the knowledge this outreach and service to the community continues.
And why do I love doing it? The children's trust and honesty. These are a couple of conversations I had yesterday which made me smile, laugh and wonder.
"Mrs Gerbil, you never shout at us. All the other leaders shout at us."
"I don't like shouting. Besides, when I ask you nicely to do something you do, don't you?"
"Yeah"
"Mrs Gerbil, you're like a pretty Susan Boyle. [Pause] Oh, but younger"
"I'm not sure how I should take that, but I'll take it as a compliment. Thank you".
"I did say pretty"
There are few times I have had such backhanded, yet genuinely heartfelt complements. There were other comments they made, to do with that debate. It was summed up like this:
"Is that not like racism?" Then they ran off to do something more interesting.
They children don't know it was my last night. Most of the leaders hadn't realised either. In some ways I feel a little guilty I didn't say bye to the children, but I would have got upset and I don't want to do that. I didn't want to upset the children either.
I pray that maybe, just maybe, some of the seeds I've sown over the years for God will begin to germinate and grow within the children I have encountered through the youth club. I may never know of how they will grow, but that isn't why I did it. I did it as that is part of my call and part of the reason I procrastinated over following my true call for so long.
So, I pray for the children, the leaders and the church and commit them to God's hands.
Wednesday, 5 January 2011
Feeling old
Yesterday I had a lovely afternoon meeting up with friends. We wives were at uni together and we had the realisation we'd know each other for 15 years!
One of my friends now is a Mum to an absolutely gorgeous 10 week old son. Another is pregnant. I'm really pleased for them both, though it's not for me. But, now we're all married and they are having children, I suddenly feel old. Not middle-aged old (I've a bit before that), but I have responsibilities now old. My friends are parents and that's a big deal.
The bonus about this is I now have an excuse to buy cool stuff for children I've wanted for years!
One of my friends now is a Mum to an absolutely gorgeous 10 week old son. Another is pregnant. I'm really pleased for them both, though it's not for me. But, now we're all married and they are having children, I suddenly feel old. Not middle-aged old (I've a bit before that), but I have responsibilities now old. My friends are parents and that's a big deal.
The bonus about this is I now have an excuse to buy cool stuff for children I've wanted for years!
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